TL;DR: Hi, I’m F19 and I am in a relationship for like 1 year and almost 4 months with M18. Our relationship is great, but we had some fights, because of one in particular was really big and since that one, we kinda have fights over nothing.
We met on January, made official in April, but he likes to say we are together since we first time started to talk, I don’t find it weird, I let him enjoy that.
In June, we decided to have each other’s social media accounts, I given him mine because I come from a toxic household, and sometimes my mom likes to scroll in my phone and after start fights over anything, so to avoid that, I gave him to disconnect my accounts if I give him the signal to do it. So he wanted to have his account too, so we will not have secrets, but that was the start of our fights. I saw a girl was texting him, so I curiously waited him to reply so I can enter on their conversation without leaving her on seen so he will notice that I opened the conversation. When I got the chance, I did it, so I was reading what they were texting, she seems kinda flirty with him, and that got me crying, because he was kinda playing cool with her, but sometimes, he gets into her playing way. My big ego didn’t let me say that I saw almost all the texts, so I said that one of my friends took my phone and entered random in that conversation and read the conversation and then showed me that he was “cheating” on me. He got mad on that “friend”, he was saying that what he was doing with my phone and he needs to mind his own business and not give fights to couples, and said she was just a friend and nothing happened, plus she lives far away, in other country, so I believed him with that she is just a friend, but I was kinda hurt, because I know that girl was younger than him, and maybe he is more attracted to younger girls.
Fast forward, in July or August we had a big fight. I was again looking at their conversation, and I got hurt seeing how she plays stupid and childish and he was playing along being kinda dominant, so I confronted him, and showed him everything that is wrong and told why is wrong, he started crying and saying he is having panic attacks, he has a problem with anxiety, now he is going to therapy, and is kinda okay. I didn’t wanted to talked with him that day, because I was busted, I felt betrayed, I felt that if I talk with him, I will start to curse him and eventually break up and block him. But he insisted to talk, saying that he will hurt him and he was stupid and he was sorry. He said he talked with her because she has some problems and he wanted just to help her, but she said once she has some problems and then acted like she doesn’t have anything, she was just attention seeking, then he said that she was kind of the girl that if she see someone with many followers, she will try to get with them just to have something to say that she dated someone famous, THEEEN he said he was talking with her because he needed to socialize with someone, I told him that I was here for him, he also have some friends, but he said that she was there just when I don’t respond or when I was sleeping, I felt manipulated, he said that the anxiety talked before him and he said the first reasons because he thought I will leave him, and I said that I feel manipulated, because of what he did, but he was apologizing and said that he will block her if I wanted to, but I didn’t, I said it’s ok to have girls as a friends, but since that, I couldn’t think straight, and when I remember, I get upset and cry. That’s why we still have fights.
Am I overreacting? Am I too jealous? I did the right thing to not break up and try to fix it?…Please help me