i (18F) have feelings for both boy 1 (17M) and boy 2 (19M) and i’m not sure how to decide between the two of them.
for context, i’ve known boy 1 for about 4 years now and for majority of that time we have had feelings for each other. we have both had relationships during these years but we always find our way back to each other and have both said we feel a connection for whatever reason. i have amazing chemistry with him and around july last year we had a sort of situationship going on between us. neither of us were wanting to commit at that time but we would hang out with each other as if we were in a relationship and would kiss and cuddle and this led me to being really attached to him. we broke it off because he was a lot less interested in a relationship than i was and he wasn’t able to treat me the way he wanted to treat me and he said he wanted to work on himself before we dated as he wanted to treat me right. we agreed that we wouldn’t message any longer as i didn’t want to remain attached as it wasn’t healthy, but even though we weren’t in contact i haven’t been able to stop thinking about him and he said the same about me.
since then he’s worked on himself and recently messaged me, eventually letting me know that he still has feelings for me and they never went away even though us ending was his fault. i’ve heard from many people that he talks about me a lot and misses me etc, he even went on a trip a few months ago and bought me something there even though we weren’t even speaking. i can’t even count how many times i’ve cried over this guy and i feel like i have a strong attachment to him.
HOWEVERR, slightly over a month ago i met boy 2 on hinge and we’ve been out a few times. i’m not as attracted to him as i am to boy 1 but over the few times i’ve been out with him he’s grown on me and i find him so so funny. i have never laughed with a guy as much as i laugh with him and i have so much fun around him. it’s also difficult though because it’s so early on and i haven’t seen any of his faults yet because i barely know him.
i am currently away on holiday until the end of this month and so i can’t see either of them in person right now. would it be wrong of me to talk to both of them until i get home and can see them both in person? i don’t want to make a decision right now as you can only know so much about people over messages. but i feel weird talking to both of them for that amount of time and forming attachments to them both.
does anyone have any advice on what i should do to figure out who i want to choose? right now i am leaning more towards boy 1 and get butterflies thinking about seeing him again once i’m home, but at the same time i haven’t seen boy 2 much and i want to see him again in person to know i’m making the right decision.