I started dating a guy several months ago following a breakup. Before this, I knew him well as he is from the same hometown. He would frequently respond to my instagram stories, even when I didn’t reply, he would just keep sending texts. He had a girlfriend at this time, and I had a boyfriend so that’s why I didn’t respond. Even if I had been single, I still don’t think I would’ve responded because all the reels he sent me were very sexual and it kinda grossed me out. Not to be a prude, I just felt it was kinda sleazy/creepy, especially because he kept trying when I didn’t reply. Also not to mention the fact he had a girlfriend…
I hooked up with him a few times since we started dating. At the beginning he made a real effort and I started to believe he saw me for more than just sex. The sex was really good and we definitely had great sexual chemistry. But now, he makes every single conversation sexual. I don’t mind talking about sex the odd time, but it’s every time. And it not only makes me feel overly sexualised, it’s also very one dimensional. For example, he told me he used to jerk off thinking about me every single day while he had a gf, only compliments my physical attributes/what I do in bed.
I’ve told him various times that it makes me feel a bit objectified when all he does is talk about me in a sexual way. He also sent an unsolicited dick pic to me last week. His response to me saying I felt objectified was ‘you were more fun when you liked being objectified.’ He acted as if my comment was unreasonable or over the top or silly. I’m all for flirting, but he makes some pretty degrading comments about me and it just makes me feel disrespected and like that’s all he sees me for.
As I write this, I can see all the red flags, but I start to doubt myself and think I’m being silly when his response to me feeling objectified is basically an eye roll. He has also made several ‘jokes’ about certain things like making the bed or cooking being a woman’s job.
TLDR: I (25F) am dating a guy (28M) who makes me feel overly sexualised
Looking to hear other people’s perspectives – how would you go about this?