Growing sense of defeat

Sorry to be another one complaining among a sea of masses, but tonight I really don’t have anywhere else to go or talk to.

I’ve grown up as a weird kid, always kind of generally isolated from the group for being overbearing and that loud kid (thank you undiagnosed adhd at the time), moving countries never helped for that either. As I’ve grown older, fell in love time and again, been the most supportive person I could physically be both in and out of relationships with people, doing everything I could. I always just end up never being enough for the person, I’ve taken advice before and worked on myself, learned to love myself and for the most part I actually have, I don’t hate how I look and I’m much less anxiety-ridden.

But now, I don’t even know where to go or to look to meet someone, this town feels so small and while I’m moving next year, that place I don’t think will feel much bigger. So I’ve hit a profoundly frustrating point where I don’t even know where to look anymore, to meet people, I’m sure most have realised by now dating apps absolutely don’t work, I don’t drink so bars aren’t really a place to go (on top of that I’m not comfortable bothering someone else’s nice night), so where do I even go, where are all the single people hiding, and even if I meet one that somehow shares interest, how do I even be enough for someone.

It’s all so frustrating.