I’ve known this friend since we were about 12 in school. He blew up at me in November, sent me some expletive filled texts and then completely ignored all of my attempts to try to work things out with him. I was really hurt that I thought I lost a good friend and posted about it many times on different sections of Reddit. He eventually started talking to me again in mid-January acting like nothing happened without apologizing or discussing it. It never really seemed the same around him ever since. He’s always had flaws that I chose to overlook but ever since this incident the things I don’t like about him seem to be magnified. We both play an online pc game together and he’s almost always constantly flooding the in-game chat with either how great he’s doing or ranting and making excuses when he doesn’t have a perfect game. This other guy we play with talked to me privately about him getting too worked up over this game. My friend ranted on there several times about how much he hates women. The other guy told him it sounds like he never gets any and he responded by bragging about sleeping around a lot before he became a single father. When I’m playing the game I dread seeing him log on and can’t wait for him to log out. I don’t enjoy having him around anymore and feel like I’m always walking on eggshells with him. If it weren’t for the mutual people we play with, I wouldn’t play with him. The other guy we both play with asked me if I’d play a different game with him. I’m tempted to not tell my friend about the other game but he would probably find out eventually and I would hate if he did that to me. He was a really good friend to me in school. I don’t want to burn any bridges with him. Not really sure what I expect posting here. Guess I just want to get this off my chest. It seems like as long as we have mutual friends I have no choice but to tolerate him when he’s around and act like nothings wrong.
TL;DR Don’t enjoy having my friend around anymore but forced to spend time with him because of mutual friends.
2 comments
I refuse to keep anyone in my life who can’t be accountable for their actions and behaviours, and who doesn’t have the ability to discuss hurts and wounds in relationships and repair them. Not only have I found these people to be intolerable and insufferable in life as I’ve met them, but my own mother is one of these people. Screams, acts whack, jealous, insecure, has to be the centre of attention, etc. The moment you try to have a serious conversation and address things, she’s too tired, she’s the victim, no one else ever takes responsibility, it’s your fault, etc. I got rid of her from my life eventually and it’s only been a strict improvement in the quality of my life. You can decide what to do about this guy, but man, even other people are trying to avoid him with you? I think it’s pretty clear where the weak link is.
It’s tough to let go of old friends. I’m in a similar situation where, I’m the same age and having a tough time letting go of those I grew up without regardless of how poorly we treat each other or how much we grow apart. Those people become family to us.
One of my friends sound similar to yours were they have a lot of growing up to do. Unable to talk maturely through problems and generally talking like a teenager would. As much as it hurts I’d suggest you slowly ice the friend out, play that new game without telling them, text them less and less. In the case with my friend it hurt but it’s been one of the best things I’ve done, reduced my stress overall. Good luck.