Last month, I (52F) called off my April 2024 wedding to my partner (57M).
We began dating in August 2021, and everything seemed fine. However, in March 2023, I discovered several lies he had been hiding, ultimately revealing a porn addiction. Despite this, we pursued couples counseling and became engaged in June 2023. He attended meetings for a few months, reassuring me that everything was under control. Despite my regular inquiries about how I could support him, he often brushed off my concerns, insisting that he loved me. However, his actions contradicted his words; I found myself initiating physical intimacy consistently, and even encountered situations where he fell asleep during intimate moments. Additionally, his phone always seemed to take precedence over our relationship.
The beginning of 2024 brought challenges, with my intuition suggesting that something was amiss, though I couldn’t pinpoint it. Then, on March 6, 2024, I requested to see his phone and discovered the NSFW content he had been concealing for months. Even when faced with undeniable evidence, he continued to deny it. It was then that I realized I no longer trusted him and couldn’t commit to a lifetime of deceit, pornography, and intimacy issues.
Lately, I’ve been questioning whether I made the right decision. Could I have been more understanding about his addiction? What could I have done to help him?