TLDR; wife shows no reaction when I lost my friend
I (M43) and wife (F43) have been married for 4, together for 7. It’s been rocky but overall good, I lost count of how many times we talked about divorce over fights, but we’ve recovered every time. One thing I have hard time understanding is that she is a caring person when it comes to people around her, but she can be surprisingly cold when she is tired or stressed about work.
Today I lost my friend. He wasn’t a closest of my friends but he was a good guy and I am proud to have known him during his short life.
I woke up and found out about it on our local news, so I said to my wife “my friend died” after saying good morning. Her reaction was “yes I read on the news”, and nothing else.. I somehow sensed that she was stressed about work as our small son was sick and had to stay home instead of daycare, so I didn’t say any further and got on with my day.
During the work day, as she does while stressed, she called me about fridge leaking or me forgot to buy cream the last time when I went shopping etc. I sent her a message saying “I know you are tense but I’m sad about my friend, so please take it easy”. To which she replied “I’m sorry for your loss. It is a very sad news”
When I came back home, she just said hi and went upstairs to bed….
I am a bit puzzled here. I am not the type to get stressed from much of things, and I understand that some people can’t handle stress very well. But to me this is a pretty cold reaction from our partner when I lost my friend. Am I overreacting or can this happen?