So for years I’ve liked this girl who I’m really good friends with and one time my brother went through my socials without me knowing and saw how much I was talking to her, let’s call her Bex which ain’t her real name, so then all of a sudden he begins talking to Bex until they’re close so I tell her how I feel about her and she told me that she couldn’t because my brother had already asked her and didn’t want to hurt his feelings because she rejected him so she only rejected me out of pity for him. A couple of months go by and I meet another girl, let’s call her Ellie which again is not her real name, so me and her start talking hours on end everyday and she asks me if I wanted to be in a relationship with her because she liked me and I found that I too have developed feelings for her so I said yes but she wanted to wait until the next time we met to get with each other then my brother found out how much I’ve been talking to her and he became very jealous so he messaged her everyday and constantly called her, I didn’t think much of it because me and her was planning on getting together, so now we’re caught up to today and I was going along with my day as normal and Ellie messaged me and said if I wanted to go on call with her so I agreed and called her number to not get a response so then I realised that I have been added to a group chat with me, Ellie and my brother which I thought was a bit weird so they were already in that call so I joined and we were just talking for a while when I told them that I had to go for a few minutes but I stayed in call and just as I was gonna leave my phone I heard her say “can I tell you something now that he’s gone” and my brother said back “no just incase he hears” so then she said she’ll message him it and I spoke and the call fell dead silent so I asked what was it they didn’t want me to know and they refused to tell me so I pushed it and my brother finally told me that they are seeing which hit me right in the gut because I genuinely loved this girl and we was gonna get together and now she’s seeing my brother. There are more cases of when this have happened but I know I’ve already typed so much. I’m afraid to catch feelings for other girls now because I’m afraid he’ll be jealous and mess things up for me so he’s making me feel like I can’t be with anyone so I’m currently heart broken because of this girl and mad at my brother and I don’t know what to do anymore. Honestly any advice would mean the world to me, thank you.
2 comments
Find girls who like you for you. Basically, find a woman who is eager to honestly connect with you rather than a woman who just want a boyfriend.
Break away from your brother when communicating with women. He seems to be using your as a wingman and you don’t deserve that, or he’s jealous and trying to hurt you which in that case cut him 9ff completely. This isn’t to say be a dick but don’t let him muscle his way into your friendships or relationships. Keep things private and don’t give out names or contact info unless he needs it. Lock your phone and lock all social media accounts and make sure you log out and always use a password manager. This is just good advice for security in general too. I don’t know his true motives but keep information away from him unless you want to disclose it. The privilege of knowing private info is based on trust, trust that it sounds like he violates regularly. Never blame the women for this though, this is on him not them.