TLDR; boyfriend brought up he isn’t sure he’s going to want to move in together a year from now when we will have been together 3 years and I’m not sure how to take it since I definitely want to.
Previously we had talked about moving in together after 3 years of dating (we’ve currently been dating just over 2 years right now) because he had never lived alone before so this upcoming lease will be his first time. After this upcoming lease cycle we said we would move in together (3 years of dating at that point).
I said something about this general timeline (that we both agreed on about a year into the relationship) and two days later he brings it up again saying he’s not sure he will be ready and he had been too afraid to say so previously. I asked him why and he said he thinks he will want to spend more time living alone. I think I got extra alarmed because earlier this year he had casually mentioned moving in with a friend instead of living alone (the fact reason I was told we were not going to live together now).
I don’t want a partner who isn’t equally excited about building our life together, and said so but ended the conversation saying that was still a long ways away and one or both of us may change our minds by that time.
My question is, do I have valid concerns to think he isn’t taking our future seriously? Should we talk about this again or did I do the right thing saying that’s still a year away and one of us might change our minds?
I honestly don’t think I will change my mind and kind of feel guilty dragging him along when this clearly doesn’t seem to be what he wants. I really think what will happen is if he’s not enthusiastic about taking any sort of steps together in the next couple years we will just break up anyway.
I love him very much and we honestly have no other problems, but there’s honestly always been a kind of wall talking about future that is making me more and more uncomfortable the longer we’re in this relationship. Especially with the recent conversation that maybe we’re not actually on the same page or want the same things.