Hello all,
I’ve hit a point last night that I’m still trying to “digest” if you will. I (M,mid-30s) am, I guess, bored(?) sexually with my wife (F,early-30s).
I guess I’ll preface this a bit: wife and I, very much still in love after 6ish years of being together. Just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary a little bit ago. We both come from a background where communication, working together, and not sugar-coating anything comes naturally to us on most fronts.
Porn is involved from time to time for both of us. However, reading through the subreddit, I am cognizant of the “death-grip” and desensitization and make it a point to only use when absolutely necessary.
Everything feels right, I still find her incredibly sexy and she is the cause for my arousal nonstop.
It’s just the same-ol same-ol though. Foreplay has been mutual although recently (almost a month?) she’s been handling a majority of it because honestly, I’m at the point of “I can take it or leave it.” Which makes me feel like shit because I know that has to be a shit feeling for her.
But foreplay, into max 2-3 positions she feels like doing that night (every night, it seems), and that’s it.
She has said stuff like, “let’s go to xxx place to celebrate this” (we have quite a few adult-oriented places near us), which sounds spontaneous and kind of kinky and fun to do, so I’m all for the change-of-pace, but she just ends up playing a video game and falling asleep on the couch.
So the point I hit last night was when we went to bed. She wanted the lights on, both fresh out of the shower, and she had me lie down, get between my legs, and started giving me a blowjob. About 10 minutes into it, I still have an erection, but orgasm is nowhere in sight (that was her intent), and I’m just over it. So I try to subtly end it as delicately as I can, cause I know it still hurts.
Woke up early this morning, and she was rubbing around wanting a quickie before work, but I’m just flat not in the mood at this point, which again, hurts her, so she asks if she’s good to just use her massager and I say “sure baby” and go get ready for the day.
Has anyone gone through this? Does anyone have advice? I’m not desperate yet, but I am looking for help before bigger issues come up from it.