So I wanted to use a throwaway for this post.
I (26F) have always wanted to get more into fitness after I left school, after having horrible experiences of sports as a kid. So last year I signed up with a gym for the first time and it made me feel great. In particular, weight training. It’s only been a year, but I feel so good about myself – I’m not only physically fitter, but I feel so much more confident and productive.
I’ve been dating someone (28M) for five years now. We’ve always had a great relationship, but he recently said something to me that really hurt my feelings. Last night, I stayed up late with my boyfriend after dinner. We chatted about our hobbies, and my weight training came up. My boyfriend suddenly became very quiet and irritable, and I asked what was wrong. He told me he was sorry he had not said so before, but admitted he felt less attracted to me because according to him, my body was starting to resemble that of a man.
I was completely shocked and asked what he was talking about. For context, my boyfriend has never criticised my weight training before. He’s always been supportive of me, so for this to come out what was a genuine surprise. He couldn’t explain himself any further, despite me asking him to. I should also add that he has never before commented on how my body has changed due to weights. It’s not that drastic to begin with, given its only been a year and I learnt from scratch. But he admitted he felt like I “looked less feminine” and that really hurt. He also seemed upset that I would be around other guys in the gym and “spend so much time there” (for context, I only attend the gym twice a week during the day when he’s at work).
That leaves me where I am today. I feel really insulted by what he said, but if it had been said to you, would that be grounds to leave someone? I really feel like I’ve found my passion, and it upsets me that my boyfriend seems so offended by it. But then again, if I’m overlooking him or getting too caught up with something, I could see if that might make him feel bad.
Tldr: I started weight training and my bf is upset with me and insulted my body. Do I stay with him?