I(21f) and my bf(21m) have been dating for 10 months. Our relationship has been a little rocky since October because I found out he searched up his ex and it just felt messed up and it hurt my feelings. I never felt the need to search up an ex because they’re over and a part of my past that I do not need to revisit. To add salt to the wound, he initially lied about searching her up because I asked. He apologized and never did it again but I tend to overthink and worry. A few months later, I find out that he was talking about intimate things in our life to a female friend (20f) he has. I personally find this crossing the line because it was about sex. To give context, there were two events
First: before we were officially dating, we did have sex and I had a pregnancy scare because my period was 5 days late. Turns out I wasn’t pregnant and I figured since I haven’t had sex in such a long time, it probably made my hormones a bit wonky. Turns out he tells her and she asks for advice and information regarding my experience because it seems she was also going through the same thing. I just didn’t don’t it appropriate and if she had questions she could resort to Google or maybe ask me personally because I would’ve been willing to share.
Second: a day after we officially started our relationship, we had sex. I find out he felt horrible about having sex and wanted to cry because it felt wrong. I did not know this till months after??? Why did he feel to share these important details with her and not with me, the person he is having sex with? It just upset me but once I expressed how uncomfortable I was , he decided to cut her off. Problem solved I guess?
The last instance is him and I decided not to watch porn. It felt right and we didn’t find a need for it especially because of the bad effects it has on couples. Something told me to ask him if he watched porn since our conversation and he said he watched hentai?? His excuse was he felt hentai wasn’t porn. However it was very minimal consumption. I’m not a fan of hentai because how a lot of the women are made to seem childlike. He agreed to stop.
My sex drive has declined ever since I found out these details because I’ve been holding on to it for months.
No one is perfect and relationships are bound to have conflicts and people mess up. I just never lied or hid things from him because I wouldn’t want things hidden from me. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if it’s genuinely not for me. It’s hard because I love him but I find myself hurt.
TLDR: my bf has searched up his ex and disclosed private details of our relationship to another woman. We also agreed on no porn but he watched hentai with the excuse that it’s not actual porn. Don’t know if I should push through or let it go. Maybe I’m making it bigger than it seems.