I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now, while he had dated his ex for around 4 years. 1.5 years ago, on his birthday- his ex had texted him something I found highly inappropriate, while he didn’t reciprocate he didn’t exactly ask her to stop either. We then had a discussion where he promised to block her and apologised for not putting a stop to it.
It happened a year later again when I found out she had called him just to catch up, and he made no mention of it to me. I found out when she called him again on his birthday. We almost broke up over this because I found it to be a huge breach of my boundaries. In the moment he apologised and promised to make it right- but following that he was very rude to me and made me feel guilty about my reaction to his wrongdoing.
We somehow got past it, but now I can’t help but compare everything to his ex. Like, when he gets mad at me he won’t pick my calls, or if he sees my missed calls he won’t call me back- these seemingly small things end up making me think how he could be available for his ex but can’t do the same for me, even though he’s assured me that they’re not in touch anymore. How do I get past this feeling?