For the longest time whenever there has been a discussion, disagreement, etc.- my (19M) partner and I would solve it by having these deep conversations that ultimately amounted to “we agree we’re okay, I love you, it will be fine” obviously not that cut and dry but yeah. Now we are married (almost 2 years) and our relationship has progressed to the point where there’s a fight, we cool off for like a couple minutes and with just a gesture there’s forgiveness and love again. Let me give an example:
Today we fought over my broken glasses that he tried to fix but broke more. We said some petty stuff (I more than him) we were angry. Cool off and on the way to a date he grabs my hand and I immediately know I’m forgiven for my pettiness and my response tells him we are fine. I confirm he doesn’t “hate” me by asking. He confirms and we proceed to have a usual conversation and have a wonderful evening.
Obviously for big arguments or disagreements we have lengthy conversations but for the causal everyday fight- it all ends in “we love and understand each other and no matter what together we can overcome it” it’s a mutual understanding but
It’s surprising the mutual understanding we have of each other. Maybe this is nothing news to you or you are yet to experience it but this is a whole different way I’ve never experienced when solving fights. Just one gesture, a move, a nod or a tender I love you communicates everything to solve these small trivial fights.
Tbh I was so used to media just portraying that every little fight couples have needs to be a drama show or lengthy ultimately pointless discussion that I thought that was the only way of solving things regardless of how trivial or insignificant the fights were in the relationship as a whole.
Maybe he has known me long enough to understand why I am upset but also know that those fights mean nothing and just tell how we truly feel. Obviously this is no mind reading though. Just recognizing mannerisms and recognizing what the other person needs. I’m new to it and I love it.
Did you ever have this transition from where you would have long talks to fix fights to it coming naturally now? Or would you just like to share how your partner and you mend things?
TL;DR: I (19F) want to know if any of you have experienced solving fights without need for much conversation.
1 comment
i guess it depends for everyone. I bottle up emotions unless I let it out. I wish I could let things go with a nod! You two are lucky ducks. I usually cool off and then we talk when we are ready. Convos don’t have to be long, then we are all good again. Sounds like you two are healthy 🙂