One of my friends (F20) from college always thinks she knows me (F21) better than I know myself and it’s so annoying. We’ve been friends for 2 years or so and overall we’re good friends, like we have things in common and similar interests and we usually get along well. But one thing that really bugs me more and more everyday is that it seems like she doesn’t really know me. Like unless I explicitly say that *this is me* *this is what i would do in …. situation* or *this is what i’m like* then she won’t be able to assume correctly what I’m like. I know maybe it’s stupid to expect people to be able to just guess but with my other friends, it’s like they got to know me on a basic level and after that they were able to guess what I’d be like in other situations. For instance some of my other friends will tag me in memes or videos that reminded them of me and they’re like ‘this is so you’ without me ever telling them that ‘this is so me’. But this one friend just can’t get it right. I feel like after 2 years of hanging out together multiple times a week, and we often hang out just the two of us, she should be able to know me better.
But that’s not the worst part. The worst is that in some cases, it seems like she thinks she knows me better than I know myself. It’s like she’s decided in her head what she wants me to be like and she holds onto it even tho I’m completely different? Or idk. I’ve never experienced this in any other friendship before. But for example we were talking about 16 personalities (enfj, istp, estj, infp,…) as a part of a class in school, like we were supposed to do the test for one of our classes and she started telling me what I am before I even got to take the test. And she got it completely wrong. When I showed her my result she just looked at me weird and went ‘hmmm that doesn’t seem right’… Like what?? Or the other day she said that I don’t really seem like a Gemini for some reason?? Even tho I have a lot of Gemini traits. I’m not super into astrology so I just ignored it. But then we were discussing Hogwarts houses in a group of our other friends, like it was just a random stupid discussion and everyone was saying their house so I said I was a Slytherin bc that’s what I always got on the quiz when I was younger and it just makes the most sense for me. Everyone agreed with me but this one friend again, was like ‘hmmm I don’t know, that doesn’t seem right to me’. And later when we were alone she proceeded to tell me that she thinks I’m a Hufflepuff?? Which is like the complete opposite of Slytherin… I have zero Hufflepuff qualities. I know Hogwarts houses are stupid and irrelevant but it just annoyed me, bc that was not the first time she did this. It happens with more serious things as well, like for example right now she’s convinced that she knows which major (for masters) is right for me, it’s obviously not the one that I want to study, and every time I talk about masters and the program I want to apply to, she just looks at me the same way as before and starts suggesting the other major, the one she thinks would be the best for me, even tho I never said I was interested in pursuing education in that major.
Like how is it possible that despite being pretty close and everything, she still doesn’t seem to know me as well as my other friends, who I don’t even consider as close, know me!?? Is it something that I’m doing wrong or is there something wrong with her or me or what is it?
Basically I just want to know if anyone else has experienced something similar and basically what do you guys think, why is she like that? Is it something that can be changed or could it be something that I’m doing wrong? And what should I do when a situation like this occurs again, bc I usually don’t know what to say. Like I really don’t know what to do but it’s starting to annoy me more and more everyday.