Would it help/hurt if your partner also needed to use an egg donor or if their eggs were fully viable? If their eggs were not viable, but they could carry the child themselves, would this impact the decision. Would you be open about using it or keep it to yourself? Would you have any caveats for the sperm donor (i.e perhaps you wish they would be of similar ethnic background to yourself – for example, many sperm donors are white which causes problems for non-white couples who need sperm).
Or would you rather adopt/foster even if your partner was fully able to have children?
12 comments
I would always choose the option that continues my genetic line over adoption/donor. Can’t say what would or wouldn’t bother me without experiencing it.
Never. Nor eggs.
If you can’t conceive and need others’ sperm and/or eggs then seriously consider adoption instead.
Millions of babies/young children need a better home.
Nothing. If god didn’t bless me with children I guess I wouldn’t need any.
This is /r/AskMen. Ideally, none of us would ever use a sperm donor for ourselves.
The reason why significant other might use one is many — impotence of the man being the #1 reason, or maybe a same-sex couple that needs some sperm for a baby. You know, the reason those donors exist in the first place…
WTF comes up with these questions?
Honestly I would much rather adopt if I were irreversibly infertile. Not going to try giving a logical reason, I’m just skeeved out at the idea of my wife carrying another man’s child.
I would definitely consider donor sperm if my sperm wasn’t viable.
I am open to adoption and I don’t really see the difference between raising an adopted child and/or raising a child conceived from donor sperm.
Whether I’d be “open” about it is another matter: I think I would at a high level because I still think infertility is treated as taboo in our nation when it shouldn’t be and being open about it is really the way to destigmatize the whole thing.
I’d actually ask one of my good male friends to be a sperm donor if it came to that. I’d rather raise the kids of someone I love than a stranger’s to be fair.
And I would 100% consider adoption. Even if I had biological children of my own.
Caveats upfront: I’m an anti-natalist, and I find the whole fixation on bio kids and “genetic legacy” kinda silly.
I’d never use a sperm donor, first and foremost. No egg donor either. Assuming I’m with the love of my life, the one girl who I thought would make a great wife and mother, I’d consider foster care into adoption.
Nothing would make me use one lmao
I’d rather just adopt, but I can certainly see the logic behind someone wanting to carry a child. If that was something my partner wanted to experience (and if I were infertile) I would acquiesce and we could pursue it. Even if there was also a need for an egg donor.
But I’d really rather just adopt. There are too many kids struggling, I’d rather help them than make one of my own.
Ultimately, the decision to have a child is something that my partner and I would have to discuss extensively for a while before we ever start the process.
Honestly I’d prefer adoption instead. Either way it’s not going to be “our” kid in the genetic sense.
I AM one
Nothing. If I’m infertile, then I just won’t raise any kids.