I’ve (22f) been seeing someone (26nb) casually for a few months. I’m moving away in a few months and we don’t want to do long distance. We have both agreed we would rather be heartbroken than not spend time with each other and we have been extremely communicative about how we’re both feeling and are on the same page about how much we see each other and what our expectations are.
In addition to enjoying just hanging out and each other’s company, we are very sexually compatible and we both really enjoy each other. A few times after we have had sex, I will suddenly feel incredibly sad and depressed. It’s like a giant floodgate opens and I’m filled with all kinds of thoughts and will start crying really hard and it’s difficult to stop. I go non verbal and it’s really difficult for me to communicate what I’m thinking and feeling, all I can do is cry.
I got out of a toxic, potentially emotionally abusive, relationship about 9 months ago. I thought I was healing and moving forward but unfortunately it does still impact me in certain ways and it’s one of the things that enter my mind during the dysphoria. I don’t recall struggling with post coital dysphoria during this relationship, which makes me think maybe this is just part of the grieving process.
If I start crying has nothing to do with how good the sex is or my partner, and I make sure they are aware of this. It also doesn’t happen every time. It’s somewhat random from what I can tell.
My partner is supportive, but I can tell they feel awkward and don’t entirely know how to help. They usually just cuddle me and if I apologize they say it’s ok. What has helped people work through this?