how do get rid of my resting bitch face

20 comments

1. Resting bitch face us hot tho why get rid of it

2. Is your face rbf when you click selfies? I try to keep my slightly smiley, eyes more open selfie look ( not over the top pouty just natural ) when i go out. If i catch my facial expressions dropping , i readjust again. It may seem too much at the start, but all habits take a month to form. Just as this.

   I have seen people smile at me more after doing this.

3. RBF is mainly a by-product of social anxiety. As a guy a couple years ago, I could be said to have the make version of that because insecurities would cause me to unconsciously hold tension throughout my face as if to prevent myself from accidentally making certain facial expressions that could draw attention to myself or look weird to others. The result was a constant tense serious face, which carried over to even when I was alone looking in the mirror. Recently, I’ve been chipped away at the anxiety itself and I notice my natural face is a lot more loose without effort by virtue of getting used to holding my face that way more often, presumably causing whatever neurological pathways that made it so easy to hold that facial tension to fall out of use to a certain extent. Still got a way to go but I’m happy with the progress.

4. I trained myself to keep my eyebrows raised just a little bit all the time, which makes you look friendlier and more attentive. That made a big difference for me. Also if you have a tendency to stare off, try and direct your stare away from other people.

5. Every friend I had at your age told me: I was sure I was not going to talk to you again. Fuck them, non are here now anyway

6. I think this is somewhat generic advice, but I see you are 19 and not too recently out of high school where there are many ready-made social groups compared to adult life. So I think this might actually be helpful instead of the cliche platitude it usually is.

   Try to find friends around a common activity (join a non-competitive softball team, get into a maker space, check out your local wall climbing gym, whatever you’re into) . At first it will be difficult to make yourself go, but every time you do it will get easier and more of you will shine through.

   The other piece of advice I had is, as difficult as this may be, to try not to get in your own head about your face. The only worry you should have is whether or not your face it “out-there” enough for people to see. Familiarity breeds friendships and you need to be out there for people to get to know you. You’re a person worth knowing.

7. Honestly I wouldn’t worry about it if that’s just your natural face when you’re in rest mode , it is what it is, I’ve been told that I look off putting when I’m in rest mode so I guess I have resting bastard face I don’t know, but to me I’m more creeped out by somebody who would literally walk around smiling all the damn time lol

8. Improv or acting classes?

9. Also, mindfulness exercises and meditation

10. Accept it, own it.

11. Smile more

12. Glasses

13. Don’t worry about it. The term RBS is just society trying to control women.

14. Was just thinking about this. I recently noticed that these strong frown lines were appearing above my nose after I had been in public for a while (but not when I’m on my own). And so It’s likely that I subconsciously try to look even more angry when around other people, which is interesting to think about.

    Thanks for bringing attention to this point, I find some of the comments so far to be quite useful!

15. Was just thinking about this. I recently noticed that these strong frown lines were appearing above my nose after I had been in public for a while (but not when I’m on my own). And so It’s likely that I subconsciously try to look even more angry when around other people, which is interesting to think about.

    Thanks for bringing attention to this point, I find some of the comments so far to be quite useful!

16. You’ve gotten some good advice. Another thing I’d suggest is developing your conversational skills. A dear friend of mine looks grumpy/angry almost all the time. What saves her is that she is good at making conversation. I’ve seen her talk to people at school, in stores, at events, even just going for a walk. When she’s chatting, she doesn’t look grumpy at all. This doesn’t mean chat everyone up. But if you’re in a situation where you basically feel safe, and there is someone you’re interested in talking to, give it a try.

17. Just smile 😃

18. Take a selfie when you’re feeling anxious; find something that makes you laugh really hard; take another selfie right as you finish laughing. Concentrate on the differences, and using a mirror, work on relaxing your facial muscles until the RBF softens into a more welcoming one. Also, the advice about raising your eyebrows does help you be seen as welcoming 😊

19. Fake smile a little. You have to be careful
    With this one tho if you’re a woman because many men mistake a smile for sexual interest. I mostly do the fake smile around friends and on webex meetings at work

20. Some people seem to have developed this as a defence mechanism. It was a good choice at the time.

    I would suggest 3 steps.

    Join some kind of martial arts school. The confidence knowing that you can destroy anyone who bothers you may help the defence mechanism drop away.

    Get counselling. I would suggest that you will want to grieve the times in the past where those who you loved didn’t protect you from harm, necessitating you to create your own defense mechanism, which has become locked in place. Only grieving those original betrayals /let downs can unlock this.

    3 is a bit weird. Start a gratitude practice. Every day, eith write down in a journal, or share with another person, three things that you are grateful for. They need to be specific, not general. “I am grateful for the lady who let me into traffic at the lights today from the parking lot” not “I am grateful for kind drivers”

    And one of them has to be tiny. “I caught a glimpse of the moon rising between the trees this evening” you need to cultivate the habit of looking for “random acts of kindness and senseless beauty” if you do this well, you will reprogram your brain to be always looking for tiny beauty. A mushroom that pops up after the rain, a flower growing from a crack in the sidewalk. Other people look at the sky and see that it is about to rain, you will look at the sky and see the incredible beauty of how the sun shines through.