We’ve been best friends for 4 years, I was her ‘bestie’, meaning I was the one she talked to about her relationship problems and every single thing that crossed her mind. I never took advantage of that and I never pursued anything with her because I only saw her as a friend. We got closer two years ago, stuff happened, boom, we’re in a a relationship for a year and a half so far.
She wants a dominant guy that takes initiative and who will dominate in bed. She also wants that Christian husband who will help her keep in touch with god and teach her future kids, she also wants me to put her in her place as a woman because she believes in gender roles. She wants a companion that will travel with her and go on adventures.
I’m a go with the flow, chill/ laidback guy. I have a low libido and unfortunately for her, instead of liking rough sex, I’m more of a vanilla guy with strong fetishes (sorry TMI). I think I’m still figuring out what I want in life, but I’m not opposed to having kids, I’m not personally an adventurous person, but I will go along with the ride with my partner, I even agreed to convert to Christianity for her.
We are going through a rough patch for the past 2 months because she just found out a reoccurring- on and off ex/safety net is dating her old best friend. She went through a whole mental breakdown, and I was supportive and catered to her every need. Mind you, she made it out to look like she had been depressed because she wasn’t sure about us because I wasn’t what she wanted. Only to reveal to me last week that it was because of an ex that she misses. She told me while she was drunk that she is still waiting for him to come back to her, but when revisited with the same conversation, she claimed that she was completely done with him and that he was irrelevant.
Side note; she dislikes the idea of my fetish, it isn’t anything harmful, I won’t say what it is, so let’s say it’s a foot fetish. She always said it was a possibility for it to be revisited again, but that drunk night, she completely shut it down.
Anyway, while I’ve been supportive and catering to her needs, I came to the conclusion to try to be everything she wants me to be, because I cannot compromise my fetish. Just like how she cannot compromise all the things she wants in a partner.
She’s adamant about making it work and believes we can get through it, if I don’t get my needs met, I genuinely can’t.
I love her a lot, and although she can’t say for certainty, the last thing I can do is I give her everything she wants so she gives me what I want.
She was also my best friend and safety net, losing her as a partner would also mean losing her as a friend. She’s holding on because she feels the same way.
Idk what to do