I want to socialize but I’m too shy. I’m afraid that I might be judged because the way I talk or how unworldly I am. I can only talk to my closest friends. I don’t have that much friends, and I can only interact with them through social media. But I rarely chat them in private, we mostly interact in our GC. I need to improve my social skills for myself and future. I don’t wanr to be dependent and turn down the opportunities all the time because I’m too shy. What should I do to improve my social skills?
9 comments
First il say a clishe but dont give a f what others think of you! For this youl need to build up your confidence a litle and the best thing do do is put goals and a rutine that you stick by it. The goals shuld be small like cleaning your room, start exercise and stuff. Rutine also shuld be just like nap time or when do you wake up… simple and easy but it gives you a ton of confidence
Second: start talking to people whenever you can, amd dont expect to go smoothly. Just talk and after a while you will be good at it.
Most people are nice and accepting and aren’t looking for faults or judging you. Some people will, but some people just aren’t nice, sorry to say.
You can only really improve social skills by being social and mixing with others. Other people aren’t perfect so there’s no right way or wrong way. Just be you – it’s easier than faking a personality – and get to know people. You’ll learn as you go along. It’s not like you are complete and everything works… everyone is different and you will have different interactions with people depending on their personalities or what they want. Some may not be bothered about chatting or making friends, others may be friends for life… that’s for you to find out. Whatever you do, don’t think there’s something wrong with you if someone doesn’t want to be friends… it’s just the nature and diversity of people. Nobody will be friendly with everyone.
Having a curious mind to ask questions about other people always helps…. many people will talk about themselves and you can expand the conversation based on what they say and they can react to what you say.
Having some wider general knowledge also helps if people are from other countries. Knowing something about the culture/cities/famous places can also give you conversations.
Soooo, yes, be nice, friendly, curious and interested and don’t worry about what others think.
If people are judging you, those aren’t the people you want to talk to anyways. We can’t control how other people act, but we can control how we respond. I know it’s not the advice you want to hear but the only way to improve your social skills is to keep putting yourself in uncomfortable situations until you are comfortable. You’ll find your niche and what works for you, and eventually you’ll attract the right people towards you.
So I think all the comments here are great here are some tactics are use in social situations.
Be ready to ask questions. Everyone wants to talk about themselves, let them.
Rehearse the interaction. I will literally speak out loud to myself and go over questions I might ask, answers I might give and posturing or other body language.
Imitate someone you think does it well. This can be tricky. It’s not being fake to conduct yourself in a way that you think is appropriate for a situation and basing that on someone else. For example when I’m talking to small children I do a mixture of 70s Bob Barker and Mr. Rogers. Barker is very good at controlling the situation and Mr. Rogers is compassionate and patient. It works very well.
Find your confidence. This can be anything really. You are a badass. When you find the thing in life that convinces you of that, that’s where you’re find confidence. For me when I was younger it was acting, nowadays it’s mixed martial arts. But it can be anything. There are so many people out there who are into the same things that you are have the same passions that you have and think that you’re cool and attractive. You don’t have to convince anyone except yourself and then go find these people. Often times if you’re working on this process and being conscious of it they’ll find you.
You got this.
People are gonna judge no matter what you do. So its better to get judged by doing rather than by not doing.
And another thing everyone’s so busy with their life that they don’t have time to remember your mistakes. When was the last time you remember someone’s little mistake.You don’t right. Its the same for others as well.
There’s video games with voice chat like csgo and valorant that may help
Did you read the sidebar?
Opportunities arise as you seize them.
Seize your opportunities, learn from them. Eventually enough interactions will create a pattern, you will be able to see and recognize this pattern and adjust to it.
Even in 10 years, you’ll be learning still. Start now, no matter how small a step. Chin up, and remember that you don’t owe anybody SHIT. Respect everybody until they give you a reason not to respect them. After that, just bounce. You don’t need that in your life and there will always be more people.
But if you like an opportunity, take it. Don’t think it’ll come around again cuz thats never guaranteed
Practice leads to experience which will make you more comfortable with your social skills. In my experience, working some jobs like cashier for instance, can be a great way to get easy practice. Plus you make money!