Dating for almost two years, living together for a year. I do have an amazing relationship with his mom and whole family but at the same time, as time is passing I feel like she sort of damaged him.
So he is overly attached to his home as in – we can’t do anything on his days off except going to his parents. If I organize something else he’d be down and feel bad for not being at home.
We have many disagreements on this as I feel that two 34yo individuals should have life on their own and visit families not be glued to them.
Also he is a bit childish – his work doesn’t provide enough income plus it does more damage than good to us, making future plans totally uncclear and I have a hard time coping with that. He keeps saying he can’t change a thing.
The other day we had an argument related to our future and he got so upset that he called his mom to pick him up on the bus station to drive him home. I was shocked.
My mom would prolly tell me go fix your issue with your man ( if it’s minor ) instead of picking me up like a little baby. She calls him 20 times a day and as soon as we leave their house she is like “when are you coming again”.
His older brother is married with two kids and having a totally healthy relationship with her. But this so a bit pathological for my taste. As I feel like I am literally dealing with a child. As if his mother thought him only to come be next to her every chance he has instead teaching him to build his own life.
I care about him, he isn’t mean or anything but I feel like I need to downgrade to my 16yo phase to make a peace in this relationship.
Tl;dr
Boyfriend being over attached to his home. Not providing much or contributing to our life, his job doing more bad than good to us. Looks like his mom created a big baby with her behavior. He’d run to her every time we disagree.