I’m a 39 year old gay man who’s never been sexually active due to major penile issues stemming from a very aggressive infant circumcision and possibly also long term medication use. My penis is very, very insensitive and has some structural issues as well. The effect is pretty bad and all my early attempts at having intimate relationships with others in my teens ended up falling through because of this. I’m working with my doctors to try to figure out a physical treatment plan and determine what else might be wrong with me (PSSD, hormonal issues) but I need something else do in the mean time.
Recently I’ve been seeing a sex therapist who recommended trying to learn how to feel/experience erogenous sensation on other parts of my body like my nipples, perineum and prostate as an alternative activity for me to do with a partner if sex with my penis doesn’t work out.
While this seemed like a long shot I have tried a few things, including the use of a prostate massage toy. Unfortunately none of it seems to work. It’s not unpleasant or painful but whether it’s my nipples, perineum or prostate touching them just doesn’t really feel sexual or pleasurable at all. This concerns me because while I don’t know a lot about it it seems like most people who enjoy stimulation from those part’s of the body don’t have to (at least entirely) learn to feel it as pleasurable. It sounds more like for most people it has always felt good or at least always was to some degree in a way they were able to build off of.
For anyone who knows much about this or has experience with it
I have a few questions:
1. Is there any kind of guide for doing this somewhere like a book or website that details it as a process or describes techniques involved?
2. Is this something that you can do alone or is it better to have a partner for it (assuming you have one)?
3. What kind of things would indicate that it’s working, what do the “results” feel like?
4. How long does it generally take for this to work?