I have been with my girlfriend for just under 3 years. She has had 2 previous relationships that both ended when they cheated on her. Her first boyfriend she has not spoken to in 6 years and the other one she hasn’t spoken to in 4 years.
Her first boyfriend recently messaged asking how she has bene and just wanting to catch up. She told me about it and told me she was planning on replying. I told her I didn’t see why she’d want to bother talking to him when he’s not in her life anymore but just said I can’t stop her talking to him.
She told me a couple more times when he messaged. Since then I see his name pop up quite regularly on her phone when we’re sat reading something, watching videos etc. She mentioned today that he suggested them going for a drink and catching up.
I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her going and she asked why. I just told her I think it’s disrespectful to be out drinking with your ex. She said she just wants to catch up with him but I just repeated that I wasn’t comfortable with her going.
I said if she chooses to go then that will be it with us since I’m no going to just sit back while she’s out drinking with her ex boyfriend and I don’t want to be with someone who would dismiss my discomfort. She said I was being controlling but I just pointed out I was only tell her what I am comfortable with and what I’m not comfortable with.
She said I shouldn’t be telling her not to go and should be fine with her going. I’m not sure what to do here, does anyone have any advice on how to handle this?
tl;dr my girlfriend started talking to an ex boyfriend and he suggested meeting up to catch up. I said I would be uncomfortable with it and that I find it disrespectful. I said if she goes it would likely be it for us since I don’t want to be with someone who dismisses my discomfort. She said I was being controlling and should be fine with it.