I (25F) and my husband (26M) have been together 5 years and started experimenting with various sexual experiences about 4 years ago. I had a fantasy of a private male stripper dance while I’m Vegas once, and that quickly turned into curiosity of trying various 3somes and group sex. We probably had a dozen experiences in the 1.5 years or so following the initial experience. It was fun to try, but I found for various reasons that it wasn’t my cup of tea and I’d much rather practice strict monogamy, have sex with ONLY my husband and him with ONLY me, and overall just be more private and responsible with my sex life. I reflect on that time as a “scandalous phase” and something that didn’t actually leave me feeling sexually fulfilled. Well, it seems as though my husband grew accustomed to the kinky experiences and never grew out of the phase, and he still has some serious fantasies and kinks in that realm that he would like to continually fulfill… just maybe not as often since I’m less interested. He’s made an effort to discuss with me ways to make the experience more positive for me, which I appreciate, but nonetheless I just don’t want to. Idk how to tell him this because I know I set the expectation by getting us into this shit in the first place. And now I feel like I can’t back out. I want him to have a satisfying sex life but it makes me sad that he can’t have that with just me. We have a lifetime ahead of us, and this weighs heavy on me. I feel like I’m withholding sexual satisfaction from him, meanwhile he wants me to not just be a willing participant, but eager. I’m not eager. I won’t be. But I feel like I have to fake it for his satisfaction. If I can’t fulfill him then what?? I feel like I’m in too deep to actually change the course of our sex life. I can answer questions to provide more context as they come up. Advice?