Small talk, no matter how painful, is necessary to start a friendship. Besides asking them the same
1. where are you from
2. what music do you listen to

What other questions can you ask people when you’re first getting to know them and hopefully scratch more than the surface

2 comments
  1. I don’t really recommend trying to get to know “strangers.” Like someone you’re passing on the street, or sitting next to on the bus–unless maybe you sit next to them all the time on the morning commute.

    Start with people who aren’t really strangers–they’re neighbors, co-workers, members of your hobby group or sports team. Talk to them about what’s going on right then–how their garden looks, a new project at work, how their hobby is going.

    Also “where are you from” can be a difficult question in the US. Unfortunately it has become code for “you can’t be an American, go back to where you came from” by racist people who think Americans should only be White Europeans, preferably with an American accent. So if you ask that of someone who isn’t White, they might think you’re building up to an insult about them instead of trying to start a conversation.

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