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Had a really lovely time on a fourth date with this guy. He planned a cute outing, things got more physical, we stayed up until 2:30 am talking and I really felt like I got to know him better and had a lot of fun.
I am not sure how to navigate asking him what he’s looking for and regret not asking before I had sex with him. I didn’t want to ask after because that felt like strange timing to ask immediately after in his bed haha.
He’s not much of a texter, and I think these conversations are better had in person anyways. He has his kids almost fulltime and has one day a week free, so he did mention he’s single because he doesn’t have a lot of time. Not sure if he’s letting me know he isn’t looking for anything serious, or if he is just giving me a heads up things may only be once a week for awhile- which I’m cool with because I am working a lot on myself right now and also enjoy my alone time.
I know WHAT I want to say- that I’m dating intentionally to find a partner and kind of over the casual thing and ask what his goals around dating are- but I never know when to casually bring it up in conversation, like ‘oh speaking of ice cream.. are you more looking for something casual right now or dating to meet someone seriously?’
How and when do you just naturally bring this up in conversation?
If you respond to someone’s prompt on Hinge and they match with you but don’t say anything is there any point in trying to start a conversation?
He asked “what’s the best theme song of all time” to which I replied “Sopranos, surely?”
He’s matched but not said anything. I feel like the ball is in his court, right? And as I have a tendency to match with terrible conversationalists I’m worried that this will be another of them. Am I reading too much into this or do I have a point?
The best feeling of the day is knowing that I’m dating a person who slowly becomes my safe place, is open with his emotions, has effective communication, discusses our needs and expectations comfortably, and works tirelessly for his career path. We are so lucky to found each other in the hopeless place 😂😂😂😂😂
I think I’m going to throw in the towel and just let myself be single for the foreseeable future. I’ve experienced a huge amount of self-improvement over the last few years through therapy, the gym, and an improved social life, and all of those gains were worthwhile for their own sakes; my life is substantially better than it was when I turned 30. But they haven’t led me to where I want to be dating-wise: the people whose interest I’ve been able to attract are consistently just not that attractive to me. I’ve followed the common advice to give people a shot when they seem great even if they don’t seem all that hot initially, but each time it has only led to me hurting someone when my feelings never develop. I think the next best move is to pivot to investing in my own single life and see what other dreams I can achieve instead of a relationship and family. Wish me luck, folks.
Hello, DOT peeps. I was wondering what is going on. I’ve been away from the online dating scene for the last couple of years. And now when I match with someone, or try to have a conversation it seems either:
A) the guys all just talk about themselves and never ask any questions back
Like I will ask them a question about themselves or something they have on their profile, and then we will have a conversation about that. But there is no back and forth it seems.
Or
B) the conversation seems to fizzle fast.
Is anyone else experiencing this?
(humor)
It’s official: I’m ugly.
I’m a man. Was at a small party the other night. General mood was great. Gave my phone to a woman friend to swipe on an app for me, and to give feedback on my profile, too.
Damn, I knew the first pic was important, but THAT important? Phew!
Anyway. Not surprisingly, she said: “You need a new pic!” Alright, she opened the camera app, pointed my phone at me and went:
“That looks like shit!” (Yeah, she has no filter and that’s what we love her for. Most of the time, sometimes it’s TMI 🙈) She changes the angle. “That looks like shit, too!” Changes her position. “Still shit!”
At this point, I’m shaking from laughter, with everyone else in the room. “See”, I say, “now you get what’s my problem!” And after she loudly announced “WE NEED SOME FILTERS FOR THIS!” I almost died laughing 🤣
We finally got a decent one. I blame it on the light in the room that she insisted that a black and white pic looked better 😅
(And no swiping for the next 24 hours – she went wild…)
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Some how got matched with someone 2 hours away, but we hit it off and had a really nice FaceTime date today. She seems amazing and I’m excited! So it looks like I’ll be doing a lot of driving real soon, but it’s worth it.
The girl I was super excited to match with has been just OK. We have chatted back and forth, lots of paragraph long questions and answers, something just feels…off. But maybe I just need to meet her in person.
Then there’s 2 other matches that I really wasn’t invested in much, but the conversation has gone really well. I think because I wasn’t super into them at the beginning, I was able to be more fun and open, which might be what is missing from the girl I really liked and my chats. Something to think about, I guess.
Then one of my ghosts popped up, finally ready for that date I asked her for last week. Might throw on a proton pack and ghost bust her, not sure yet.
Done swiping until I navigate all this. This shit is exhausting lol
I (38M) am looking to date for the first time since I was 20. My wife of 18 years passed away. The dating world has drastically changed. I’m not in a rush to get in a serious relationship. I also not interested in flings or one night stands. Just conversation and see what develops. I live in a small town so there aren’t many social areas to meet women. I work from home so I don’t have the workplace social area either. Are apps the best place to start?
I messaged my crush and asked him to go out one more time this week. He said yes, but I can’t tell if he is only being platonic or is he interested. It is so hard to interpret!
Now I am thinking about how to show interest in a way that won’t scare him away. And I rejected him six years ago which makes the situation way more complicated.
He is not a regular texter and to be honest I am struggling to gauge where is level of interest is.
What do i do?
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I (M32) went to hang out with a dude (M30) that I thought was attractive – I’ve seen him in passing so I just had a general idea. Got to the restaurant and this man was insanely hot. So hot I felt nervous and awkward the whole evening.
Fast forward to the end of night and not only did he ask me back at his place to keep the night going, he was EXCITED for me to stay the night. He was so complementary about me.
I wanted to wait until tomorrow to follow up, but he messaged me about 2 hours after I left his place this morning. I felt majorly out of my league and he gassed me up big time. What a confidence boost. I’ll be riding this high for the next few weeks!!
Got out a 9 year relationship last year- went on many dates/hookups in my area, was great for my self esteem until it wasn’t.
Now trying to figure out what I want next in my mid 30s. It sucks because every around me is either younger or married with property at my age, esp in the Bay Area! 🫠
It’s rough as so many people in my dating pool aren’t looking for ltr while I do want to get married one day 🥺
Might’ve been a little too awkward and weird with Chill Cutie over text. I got flustered after I realized he’s actually attracted to me and I think I biffed it 😬
Or I could just be having anxiety over nothing at all— and this is definitely some stuff I need to work on when it comes to dating.
Will he reply to my last texts, or accept my Instagram follow request? Is he still interested in that second date? I can only wait and see.
(I am the least cool person I know right now and I do not like it😂)
i feel… listless. its the first beautiful day of spring. i want to put on a spring dress and date!
Weed delivery guy who asked me out went ghost! The day came and went and I didn’t hear anything. Oh well
I got pre approved for my construction mortgage!!
Usually life milestones have a tinge of “shit, I wish *he* was here for this. I wish *we* were on this journey together”.
This doesn’t feel any less rad without a partner. Savouring it. Fuck yeah “crusty woman”, ya made it broad.
To the person who deleted their comment about someone making a “decision” for them:
I don’t relate to him at all. I’m just seeing it as something that you have no control over so release the feeling that you lost control. It’s not on you to change people. I get that it sucks. It’s clearer now that I know you weren’t actually guessing and assuming. But you can’t make people be what you want to them to be.
So I would think it sucks less to accept that you know they didn’t do the mature thing and talk to you (as I agreed with you) because you can’t control that. It’s just the other side of the coin. That’s all.
4 years ago my life was pretty different that what it is now.
I’ve become successful in work, have been managing my finances like a real motherfu**er, stopped relying on friends or anybody else to do the things I want to do/travel solo. I think these are the lessons I needed to learn, had I been in a relationship I probably would have stayed in this mindset of not knowing how to live on my own.
My dating life is pretty much non existent (the past year I got frustrated with the lack of minimum effort/initiative from men I tried to connect with) I feel like I want to be open to genuine connections just don’t have any visibility of that happening. I became skeptical that I can actually achieve that but also recognize that by not taking risks at all it will not take me anywhere.
If anyone went through similar to this and were able to change that I’d love to hear how things turned out ✨
The more I get to know the new guy (who is actually a longstanding acquaintance but we are new to dating again), the more I am convinced it should be illegal for me to date up this much.
He is smart. He is thoughtful. He is handsome. He has gifts for me (snacks!) when we meet up. He is VERY smart. He is accomplished. He has good relationships with friends and family. He is an excellent cook. He keeps a clean and inviting home.
And DEAR GOD the physical side of things. Considering how awkward we both were during our brief and unsuccessful attempt to date a decade ago, I never would have guessed how compatible we actually are.
HE SEES MY CATS AND MY GEEKY INTERESTS AS A POINT IN MY FAVOR WHAT THE EVERLOVING HELL.
I’m a 33 year old male 7 months into recovery (booze bag). I haven’t been in a relationship in about 2 years. Had some flings but they didn’t really do much but make me feel confused and lonely.
I recently spent the last month/month and a half trying online dating and it resulted in some first dates and a lot of confusion. I’m obviously not really in a place to be dating OR maybe online dating is just the wrong way to go about it. At any rate, how to others deal with this situation? I mean I have hobbies to occupy time (Running, Jiu Jitsu, may get around to taking strength and conditioning seriously), and maybe pouring myself into healthy shit that makes me feel like I’m leaving shitty drunk me further and further behind is “the way”.
But there’s still that goddamn desperation for touch and intimacy and cool bike picnic dates.
Not sure if this makes sense or not but I’m really going through it and feeling very frustrated about the whole loneliness thing. Thank you for attending my Ted talk.
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Was dating someone recently. After two months, he told me wasn’t ready to be exclusive and he was still dealing with his breakup (even though he previously said he didn’t need time). I also found out he recently started seeing another woman and started to be sloppy about details. This caused a lot of anxiety as I was catching feelings for him. I needed space and stopped responding to him. I decided to just walk away after some clarity over the weekend and I didn’t reach out to talk about it bcus I didn’t see a point to it. Now it’s been about a month and I can’t seem to move on. It’s so weird. I haven’t been hung up on a short lived relationship like this before. I just want to stop thinking about it. Did I mess up by just walking away?
WELL I WENT AHEAD AND ASKED LINKEDIN IF HE WANTS TO SEE MY FRIENDS BAND and he gave me a tentative answer. Maybe. I think he is going to turn me down later this week. I feel stupid for even asking. I kind of wish he said no from the jump so I could confirm that my intuition was right. Now he’s got me in a weird headspace.
Went on date 2 with a new guy. He is mature, stable and perfect in every way but I don’t feel a strong sense of attraction. Does anyone have happy stories about how this can develop over time? It is rare for me to meet someone that aligns with me so well.
I think I’m getting the slow fade from someone I recently started seeing. I’m feeling really hurt and devastated, even though I know I shouldn’t care this much early on.
I don’t think we were compatible, but we had chemistry and I felt I could be myself around them.
This just sucks.
I suspect I am absolutely going to get ghosted/unmatched before my semi-scheduled date on Sunday happens. This happened last week with another guy and I can tell it’s going to happen again.
If we get married I will eat my words, but ARGH.
Had a like on the apps after a while off them, sent a message, no reply. Had a match with another guy who wanted to chat via call, numbers swapped…he text me he googled my number, found me online and then he asked if I googled him…I said no, i havent, (truth-I cannot be arsed to google anyone anymore, i’m getting to know people in person or not at all), yawn.
The guy at the local games meet up has been asking me about myself, asked if I was seeing anyone and teases me in a sweet way. I don’t know him, he’s 10+ years older than me I feel.
Planning another selfie date this week. Movies last week was great by myself. Might even take a hot water bottle a pillow lol.
How do you know if someone likes you because you’re you and not because you’re one of the few persons they matched with on an app? 🤔🤔🤔 Advice needed, thanks in advance!
I’m really bad at cues but if you mention to a guy friend that you’ve started taking up salsa dance lessons and he asks to come along and asks to work out together doing other stuff, does that mean he’s attracted to me? We were talking about diets and exercise and he did say I look hot and have nice curves … but I wonder if these are just normal comments/ actions?
This whole retrograde eclipse season really has got people popping back up like zombies. Never would have believed it in the past but had a bunch of people message out of the blue in the last week!
Not chasing anyone my end currently though, I’m staying focused on being content within myself and happy in my own life without the panic and anxiety of wanting so much for someone specific to pick me
Over a week of no contact . I mean I feel better but I don’t. You know what I mean? No contact was initiated by me and he never acknowledged what I sent. Which is perfect no – wondering.
Is it cheeky to ask a girl to pick me up? Second date. She’s coming straight from work and driving. We’re not going to be back until late but parking is an absolute nightmare where i live and I won’t get a space this evening if I move my car. It’s about an hour walk from my place. It’s not particularly far out of the way for her but I feel bad for asking as the guy. Taxis aren’t great here and the walk wouldn’t bother me but the weather is awful. Any thoughts? Would it be a red flag to you? 😄
I (37f) was out to a concert with friends last weekend and had to share the back seat of the car with 3 others so we were quite squished. The guy sitting next to me, was an acquaintance (29m) I never thought much about. To sit more comfortable I put my arm around his shoulder and when we had to reshuffle a bit I told him jokingly it was his turn. And it felt so nice. Seen him twice on group dinners this week where I feel we talked more than before, and now I have a crush on him.
The issues a) He’s much younger than me and we both live as expats in a small country here
b) I’m moving to another country 2.5h by plane by the end of the month c) I don’t even know what he thinks d) I don’t want to embarrass myself in that group of people I hang out with for being a cougar or so.
I’ve been unsuccessfully dating – never managed to get to a committed exclusive relationship from their side – since 2019. So I’m happy even with a short term story if it feels good for the moment (despite really aiming for a life partner).
Should I just live with this crush in my head for the next few weeks or should I try if him and me can hang out just the 2 of us and see how that goes? Or any other ideas?
I decided today to read through the old messages exchange between me and an ex whom I’ve always held as the gold standard in terms of traits, values & relationship goals.
Was surprised to see that Facebook still kept the full archive. It was our primary messaging platform as we used to do long distance.
It’s absolute torture reading what he wrote, realising what I had discarded & how I had treated him. Yet he remained patient & hopeful.
I was the one in my brokenness chose to end the relationship, oblivious to what I had. Only to be searching for it again in the next 12 years.
The silver lining I see in this is 1) The loss shaped me into the lover I have always wanted. 2) His messages are a reference of how healthy relationships should be. It was as though he could read into the future, being the exact person I need in my life now. He was far more evolved than me in withstand the turmoil of a relationship even though we are the same age. He probably even understood me better than I knew myself.
Reason why I gone digging through my dirt, is that I have been questioning my idea of a healthy relationship, ever since reconciling with Mr Exclusive. What does a slow burn look like. Is inactivity a bad thing. Why do quietness make me restless, trigger my anxiety.
Evidently, I don’t want to call it quits on what in hindsight would be a healthy relationship.