Weed and relationships

5 comments

1. Maybe you guys don’t share the same priorities?

2. Just talk to him and mention that? I know some people that only smoke weed to relax once they got nothing else to do that day. Could see if they would be up for that.

3. You can discuss boundaries, but understand some people use it as a replacement for anxiety/depression medications. I smoke to get through the day, but will smoke *more* in the evenings or if I’m trying to sleep. I think it’s reasonable to ask him to not be so high when going out, but I wouldn’t force him to be sober except when you say so.

4. When I’ve had this issue with my partner(and I’m a daily smoker), I made a boundary that says if I can tell you’re high, I don’t want to go anywhere. I can smoke what I need to for anxiety and appetite, and nobody is the wiser (I mean nobody, not even my tea totalling parents). It’s not necessary to be obviously “high” using weed as medication.

   So yeah, red eyes, can’t drive (safely IMO), smell, and dumbass conversation? We can do that on the couch anytime. Not when we’re going anywhere that I’d like him to pay attention or be social with sober human beings. I don’t think it’s unreasonable. If he does… potential problem. If he can’t abstain for a few hours, we’re getting into addiction territory (yes it’s possible to be a weed addict).

5. When my partner started to control //set boundaries) when I smoked, I started lying to them about when I smoked. If you force him to choose between you and weed, it might make him resent you. Plus if he smokes all the time, he probably gets way more excited for a fancy restaurant when stoned so he can have the munchies :/, asking him not to smoke before would like asking you to not get drinks at dinner. UNLESS he really doesn’t act himself when he’s stoned…. But by telling him when and when he can’t be high, it might make him feel controlled potentially (it always makes me feel controllled)… just like if he told when you couldn’t drink, or whatever.