Hello. I am seeking advice. So I lived quite a big part of my life just doing what I like/what I think is correct without thinking about how other people are affected. In the past few years I learnt about compassion and empathy. More recently, I started thinking about integrity which I really took to heart and managed to apply as best as I can into my life.
My main question is, how do I be genuine to people without pushing them away/hurting them?
I am honestly quite a weird person and quite annoying to be around. For example, I am very2 passionate about music to the point that it’s off-putting; maybe even annoying since I accidentally spam people just trying to reccomend songs or will stay on the topic for hours if I don’t hold back. I also like getting into debates about stuff like music, values, philosophy, religion, etc which I can get quite passionate about and also will continue for hours or even days if I don’t hold back. There are a lot of other parts of me that I know isn’t exactly socially acceptable but I won’t get into it.
In my attempt to take others into consideration, I started trying to hold myself back a lot in certain areas and do stuff that I don’t normally do. Of course I don’t pretend to like things I don’t like and keep personal boundaries.
Recently, a new community of people my age I just found (who genuinely do love me and who I genuinely love) gave me feedback that I don’t seem genuine, or at the very least, seem closed off because I don’t show them who I really am. While yes a part of it is because I’m scared of being rejected because we only knew each other for 3 months, I also am just trying to be a good friend.
So, is the solution a balance? If so, how do I find this balance?