My husband (37m) and I(37f) are married 10years with children. We are together since we were 17.
When our daughter was about 3months I found him sexting women, sending videos and images.We separated for a couple of years and during Covid we got back together.
We shortly fell pregnant with our son and while pregnant found him messaging prostitutes but of course he never met anyone or cheated in any other way other than virtually.
We have awful communication, any issues are dealt with(really not dealt with) by just stonewalling until the other forgets or can’t be bothered stay annoyed.
Lately I’ve been noticing how he speaks to me and even how we interact. We rarely have sex,and when we do I don’t really want to at all,there is no connection apart from him feeling my ass and drooling obviously when he is expecting sex,he expects me to initiate because apparently 8years ago I would turn down sex often so now he is too damaged he will not initiate.
I can’t separate from him as I’m scared how he will mess me over,like he tried last time we separated. But I’m starting to feel I need connection, I used to worry the lack of sex would lead him to look elsewhere,but now I feel I want to look elsewhere but he would go extra hard in fucking me over if I did and he found out. I’m feeling so fed up,lonely and depressed.