Women, what do you think about men being told not to cry?

45 comments

1. Everyone should be able to cry. Telling men not to cry is extremely damaging to their well-being

2. It’s extremely toxic and unnecessary, and it starts young for them which is incredibly depressing.

   I ain’t even a boy and when I was a kid my dad started yelling at me to stop crying and it made me cry harder.

3. I think it’s damaging.

4. That it’s an extremely unhealthy and damaging thing to say, and especially when taught to kids.

   I might be a woman but I also was educated/grew up with the notion that I wasn’t allowed to cry or show vulnerabilities myself (doing so would get me sent me to my room as being distressed and sad would be seen as a burden to others). Needless to say, I struggled – and continue to struggle – with mental health because the mentality of me not being allowed to show weakness or get help was so ingrained in me. I had a very unhealthy relationship both with my emotions and others (as I had a hard time even accepting others support and help for most of my life); finding the right therapist helped but also made me realise just how harmful this upbringing was or how much it affected me and my relationships.

   Validating our feelings and learning to have a healthy and understanding relationship with them early on is important. Neglecting them doesn’t mean they don’t fester inside us and won’t end up causing more damage and harm in the long run than if we accepted and acknowledged them earlier on. So it’s definitely a stigma I have a big issue with.

5. Everyone should be allowed to show emotions. It’s a stupid saying that whole “boy’s don’t cry” thing :/ it’s super damaging to a kid being told he isn’t allowed to show his emotions from a young age

6. It’s just wrong.

7. It’s traumatic, horrifying and damaging. You should encourage an outlet for all emotions, irrespective of the gender.

8. I don’t think anyone should be given the message that they can’t *ever* cry, but regardless of gender I respect some self restraint.

9. It’s a poisonous message.

10. I can relate. I grew up in an Asian household and was also told not to cry. I was punished for it as a child. Now I repress a lot.

    I think emotional compartmentalization can be very useful, but you need to also be taught constructive outlets, emotional intelligence and good communication skills which men are also not taught. To me, that’s the real problem.

11. Crying is annoying but it’s not like one can really help it, it’s like telling someone to stop coughing.

12. It’s toxic. I always try it encourage them to show emotions cause suppressing them is not healthy.

13. Absolute bullshit. Everyone should be allowed to cry And I WANT my partners to be able to cry to me. Idgaf if they’re a man, come cry about your problems and let me comfort you and offer advice if wanted. :///

14. I hate that! It makes men become monsters literally. My oldest brother used to say that to his 6 year old son, when my brother was crying from his terrible back pain, his son told him “daddy stop crying, you told me men don’t cry.” Karma works wonders!

15. I don’t think it’s ever okay to tell someone not to cry. Everyone is human, we all have emotions.

16. I don’t cry a lot, but that’s because I have ice water in my veins. Any person that I deem too emotional would get on my nerves, but a man crying at appropriate times is fine. Just not a drunk crier

17. It’s an example of toxic masculinity and it would be nice if men could work on that.

18. I think it’s toxic bullshit.

19. Men are told not to cry. Women are expected to cry and then we’re “hysterical” or “on our period.” I can’t say I’ve ever felt it was okay to cry as a woman. There’s always a punishment / character assassination.

20. Unacceptable. We can’t treat men like emotionless bots. We’re all human.

21. It’s awful and incredibly damaging to men.

22. Very old fashioned way of thinking. It’s now the 21st century, if someone needs to cry, let them cry!

23. very toxic and unfair. men have feelings too and a lot of them are terrified to show anything but anger and happiness. but i just try my best to create a safe space emotionally for the men i care about.

24. It’s wrong

25. I dont think its fair. However, don’t cry around me, regardless of your gender, unless you are a child. It freaks me out and has been used against me growing up as an abuse/ manipulation tactic.

26. I feel so bad for men who were taught that and I always say that it’s ok to cry no matter who you are.

27. It’s ridiculous and it damages both men and women. Showing emotions shouldn’t be seen as weak and being weak shouldn’t be associated with being a woman

28. men have emotions too. i think it’s wrong because their pressure to suppress their emotions.

29. That it’s ridiculous and one of the reasons so many men don’t know how to process their emotions because they are taught to be emotionless and “strong,” if they cry they are weak. I feel like it really hinders anyones development, but with men this is seen as a norm and it’s not ok.

30. It’s toxic AF

31. Raised the spawn with “honest tears are nothing to be ashamed of”

    Big difference from what I was raised with.

32. That’s very sad

33. It’s bs. They are human and created with emotions just like everyone else.

34. It’s antiquated thinking.

35. I had a coworker attempting suicide and my team and I was shocked. I cried and the other dudes said they couldn’t cry because I was already crying and we can’t all cry. We didn’t work for the next 3 hours because we were in shock

    I think crying was valid so it’s so toxic

36. It’s misogyny. Women are not “allowed” to cry. They are *expected* to cry. Crying is weak and useless and so are women. So stop acting like a woman, son.

    We don’t really need more men crying in the world. We need more men who don’t think of women as lesser creatures.

37. Disgusting, toxic, and dehumanizing.

38. Hideous.

39. Complete nonsense. Crying is a normal human reaction to a range of emotions and all men should be able to feel vulnerable enough to cry without fear of being judged about their masculinity. I have never understood that. Crying is also cathartic and helps to express emotions in ways that help men feel comfortable in the presence of other men.

40. It’s unreasonable to expect any human being to be able to manage and express their emotions in a mature manner when they’re never allowed to even feel them.

41. I think it’s bullshit and everyone should be comfortable crying.

42. Let’s put it that way:

    My cousin (M13) was told by his father “Only little girls cry” and I immediately told my cousin “oof no, please don’t believe that for a second. Crying is a healthy thing that everyone can (and often should) do when they feel the urge to”

43. It’s fucked up. I met lady at a party who rejected and made fun of a guy because they cried in front of her. Sure reject the guy, you do you chica but make fun of him? Erm. Not cool.

44. It makes me feel more emotional to see a man cry. Like its more meaningful because they don’t cry as much as women. Now im wondering if men would cry more often if they weren’t told not to…

45. As someone who cries A LOT I can’t comprehend how you can stop a natural bodily function. It’s complete BS