I’ve been with my partner for around 4 years. When we first got together we said we both want one child and that we would start thinking about having kids when my girlfriend is around 30 and I’m around 34.
My view on this hasn’t changed but last weekend my girlfriend sat me down and asked if we could talk. She said the more she thinks about it the less she wants to have a kid. I asked what had brought this on and she just said our lives would change too much. She want to still have nice trips without worrying about looking after kids and things like that and just wants to be able to live her life how she does now without needing to be thinking about kids and changing our lives to be parents.
I mentioned that we’d still be able to go on holiday and have our parents look after the child occasionally and that we’d still be able to do pretty much anything we do now but she said that’s not enough. I asked if she was sure and she said she was. She said our lives will be a lot better without kids. I mentioned that my views have not changed and that I still do want to be a dad someday.
She asked what this meant for us and I just said if she was certain about not having kids then I’m not sure we’re compatible anymore. She said I was trying to pressure her to change her mind and putting kids before her. I said that’s not what I was doing and that I was pointing out that we want completely different things in the future.
She said I was clearly not serious about us and that it shows how I really feel about her. I’m not really sure what to do, does anyone have any advice on how to handle this?
tl;dr originally my girlfriend and I agreed to have one child. She is now saying she doesn’t want kids. I mentioned that I still want a child so we may no longer be compatible and she accused me of putting kids before her and pressuring her to have kids.