My M(28) Gf (F25) Has been showing a lot of red flags. We’ve been together for 4 months.
*she pokes and jokes about my hobbies claiming that they are dumb.
*worries about what I spend my money on (disc golf, video games etc) but doesn’t seem to mind when I spend money on her (flowers, jewelry, dinner, trips) Has told me I need to save X amount a month for an engagement ring for her.
*Has talked down about me and talked me up in front of her parents. It’s really strange, I know she is trying to be sarcastic and joke around but sometimes if feel like it’s a power move.
* Every single time I hang out with my friend (a married man whom we met through) somthing seems to come up and she gets mad.
*I can’t bring up any issues in the relationship without her either A. Spinning it back on me B. Blowing it out of proportion C. Brining up the past to include my prior relationship which she knows nothing about nor does she know my ex but more often than not it’s D. All of the above. Eventually she will cool down and level with me only to bring it up the next time somthing occurs.
Recently I expressed to her that I’m going through some things. I just found out my mom’s cancer is coming back, I changed shifts at my job so my schedule and routine are completely off and this time of year is when my deployment cycle would usually begin when I was in the military so I can be in a funk occasionally. I explained to her that I need her to be patient with me allow me to invest time in my hobbys and with my friends. We’d just spent a whole 6 days in a row together, going to a concert and various other fun activities. She immediately flipped on me and expressed that me nit driving down to see her after work meant I didn’t give or care about her and that she was hurt. I have been extra anxious lately and after trying to calmly explain myself I eventually just told her she was being self centered and being kind an a hole. I know I shouldn’t have said that but I for the first time in this relationship decided to stand my ground. I told her I love her and that I’d talk to her the next day. Well here we are and she is barely speaking to me. I know I’m not the world’s most perfect individual let alone most perfect boyfriend but I feel like I can’t communicate with her without being strong armed into doing what she wants. I know I need to work on myself but I need to be allowed the space to do that. What should I do moving forward and what would you do in my position?