When my boyfriend and I started to date, I was 19 and if I honest it is the first serious relationship I’ve been in. When we met I was living on my own and I had very few family here with me. The relationship itself started very quickly and in less than 2 months we were hooked. We initially had a LOT of issues with his ex and it was just very straining on me and eventually we made it through (No cheating happened but a lot of emotional manipulating on her side). Ever since then we have been pretty solid. We have gone though a lot together financially ( I was unemployed and he provided and Vise Versa). And I feel we are so vulnerable with each other and there’s nothing we can’t tell each other, Although he does have a LOT of trouble telling me what is exactly that he feels. Like he is not great with words. The reason I mention all that is just to give some context in our relationship. I mean we moved in together after a year of dating and we even have 5 cats together. All of our finances and meshed and we share everything. Like I mean we are a seasoned couple. We talked about marriage a lot and it has become a running joke that he has not proposed. But when we do talk about it seriously, he says that he is not financially ready basically. I’ve told him time and time again that I do not want a fancy ring or a big wedding. And he knows I don’t even like crowds so a private at home engagement, where its just us sounds great to me. So his reasoning has always left me feeling uneasy and just wondering if he’s just not sure.. I would also like to mention that he has anxiety and maybe that is contributing but I have more that reassured him of my feelings so he knows exactly how I feel. Now probably 2 years into our relationship his best friend called him to let him know that he just started to date this girl, and I jokingly said that if his friend gets engaged before we did I would leave him. Fast forward yesterday, He told me that his friend was engaged, even before he told me he said “Please don’t get mad”. I felt floored and just so defeated. Like I feel like my heart is just breaking every time I look at him. He knows I’m upset and we still haven’t talked about it yet and you can definitively feel like something is wrong. I don’t know what to do or how to feel. I know deep in my heart that he is the one for me and that I want to spend the rest of my life with him no matter what. But it makes me literally sick to think that he is still not sure. I feel like if I show him how hurt I am, he will feel forced to propose to me. That is the last thing I want. I want to know if I’m overreacting and what I should do. Another thing to mention is that when we first started to date, I told him that I do not want to date for more than 5 years. I just felt like 5 years was more than enough time to get to know someone and see if that is the person I’m willing to spend my life with. But now that it is almost going to 5 years, I can’t see myself just up and leaving… But I also feel like I deserve better. I just need some insight, I’m all over the place right now. Any constructive criticism is welcome. And thank you in advance.
TL;DR My boyfriends friend who has been with his partner for half the time me and my boyfriend have been together, just got engaged. I’m upset and now I do not know how to handle the situation.