I’ve been suffering from pretty bad anxiety for the past few years and recently got diagnosed with depression as well.
Through these disorders, I find it hard to not think negatively about myself and also not speak in a self deprecating way to my friends. However, this speak has caused my friends to no longer want to hang out with me as they feel I’m too negative.
Along with being too negative, they’ve also mentioned that I talk too much about money and what clothing I buy. I can understand where they’re coming from but I’ve realized I might be doing this because of the desire to feel valued and important.
I wish so much that I was just normal and wasn’t “wired” this way, it’s been really hard on me and has made me lose many friends over the past year. I feel so embarrassed by my actions and wish I could just turn back the clock and redo everything, so I don’t seem like such an asshole all the time. I don’t mean to be, I just want connection and support around me.
What can I do to help myself improve over the next few months and also become a better person before I leave for college? I just want to feel normal for once.