At the beginning of our relationship of 7 years, i caught my bf sendign a coworker a text telling her love you too with heart eyes. I immediately asked about it and said I wasn’t comfortable with it and would like for him to tell her not to send him those sorts of texts and same to him if we are going to date. He agreed and texted her not to say that to him and she responded with something humorous/playful after. she moved out of state and got married fast to some guy she met out of state. since then ive moved out of state with my bf and then back to out home state and there have been a few incidents that have left me fearful he could be cheating but i don’t ever want to assume..
while living out of state together, i found sparkly sanitizer and a pink comb in his car. he insisted they were his moms from a few weeks prior when she visited and I messaged her asking and she said they were hers and i could just throw them out..while living there i was invited out to a happy hour with his coworkers and he introduced me as his gf. right in front of me, some pretty young coworker was giggling at the table and asked him if he uses snapchat and to download it and add him..he didnt really think it was weird but it was so obviously flirting. then on the way out of the restaurant she waved and smiled at him and was playing with her hair. it was very child-like…
this was all a few years ago or more..
fast forward to the last year..he kept coming home talking about this one very young coworker and all of her hobbies and interests and how she surfs (he knows i can’t swim and am a bit skiddish about the ocean) and invited him to do that sometimes and he just gloated about her a lot. I told him it made me uncomfortable how much he talks about her. she supposedly quit their job together and lives somewhere in town still but they dont talk anymore supposedly..now, he has another coworker who is a female with the same name as me and she broke up with her bf while working with him and moved out of his home. she came to work apparently crying a lot about it and my bf let me know she went to him crying about it..my bf is a nice person so i didnt think much of that..for weeks he randomly 1x a week maybe brings up how she is newly single and goes to the gym and is trying to put herself out there. i think its strange he keeps bringing up certain topics with female coworkers knowing it will make me uncomfortable..and yesterday he came home from work later than usual and smelled very strongly of grapefruit..i asked about the smell and he just didnt have an answer at all and switched topics to say he stopped to see his brother before coming home from work..
how can I find out if he is cheating? he just has a pattern of talking up female coworkers and making me uncomfy even when ive told him nicely it makes me feel that way…idk if he just has foot mouth and says stuff without thinking or if he truly just doesnt see me as a romantic partner and is stepping outisde of us to secretly see other people or see what is out there as another option..
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helppppp
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TL;DR my bf came home from work yesterday smelling like grapefruit and has had a history of talking up female coworkers and years ago he texted one of them he loved her. I’m feeling lost for words and just need some advice. I want to know if im overthinking all of this…