My bf (26m) took me (24F) out on Friday for sushi and ice cream. Went home, put on a lil movie, sipped a lil wine. Got a lil horny and started making out. During the make out, I noticed my stomach felt off. Not nauseous exactly?? But off for sure. Ignored it bc clearly I invite chaos into my life. I started giving him a blowjob. Right off the bat I was gagging. I usually gag a little bit but this was like. Extreme. Could not get even half of him into my mouth without gagging. I eventually stopped and suggested we go to the bedroom mostly hoping for a brief intermission to like??? Regain my composure? Got on top of him to do some 69 (in hindsight, the worst position I could have gotten in given the circumstances). Resumed the blowjob, gagged once, twice, and then suddenly there was vomit everywhere. It happened so fast. I immediately felt better but oh my GOD. never been so mortified in my entire LIFE.
And this sweet man, absolutely covered in undigested sushi and ice cream, sits up and asks me if I’M okay and then says HE is sorry. Omg. Wanted to walk out to my car butt naked and drive until I reached the end of the world.
Anyways, he was perfect and sweet and amazing and wonderful and YET I cannot get past this. Like the self-revulsion I feel is so intense. I have never felt so unattractive and so un-sexy.
Dreading the next intimate interaction bc I just don’t know how to re-inspire my confidence. We’ve had a conversation about it everyday since and he’s promised over and over again that it just wasn’t an ick to him and he’d gladly “smash” like always. I believe him. But I cannot get over the humiliation. Feels like I can never take myself seriously again in a sexual situation. Thoughts, prayers, advice, similar stories appreciated 🙏🏼