Hey yall. I started hooking up with this guy about 2.5 years ago. He’s not someone I would want to date seriously, but our physical connection is insane and I like hanging out with him. I travel a lot so haven’t been around consistently, but he’s the person I keep coming back to and feel comfortable with physically. I even had a relationship in that 2.5 years so stopped talking to him for a few months while I had a boyfriend, but I missed the physical chemistry so much that I went back to seeing him instead.
Well today he was at my place and forgot his wallet when he left. When I looked at his ID, I found out he has a different name than he has been telling me and he is 10 years older than he says he is. I’m 22, started sleeping with him when I was 20. He said he was 27 when I met him which I don’t think is a huge deal and I’m comfortable with that age difference, but today I found out that he’s actually 39. I’m comfortable messing around with someone in their late 20s, even early 30s maybe, but almost 40 is a lot. That just feels like a power imbalance. I don’t know why anyone would lie about their age and name unless they’re just trying to get with young girls or they have a bad criminal record.
The fucked up think is that I honestly don’t think I will stop seeing him if I’m being real with myself. He’s had plenty of other red flags, but the sex is literally so unbelievable that I don’t give a shit. I feel weird knowing he lied, and weird knowing this new knowledge probably won’t change anything.
I don’t know how to handle this. Should I ask him why he’s been lying? Should I just pretend nothing happened? Should I get mad at him?