I’m in a bit of a pickle here and could use some advice. My wife and I recently welcomed our first baby into the world, and while we were getting ready to visit her parents, I made a dumb joke – something pretty normal in our relationship.
She put mismatched socks on the baby and I said, “Looks like you’ve already started dressing the baby like a mini fashion disaster.” It was lighthearted.
She got incredibly mad, refused to go, and said she lost feelings for me because of that joke. Now, this is so out of character for her. We’ve been together since high school, weathered through so much together – long distance, the loss of a pregnancy, you name it. We’ve always had a super healthy relationship, with the occasional fight but never anything serious.
I thought it might be postpartum depression (PPD), but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions. I tried talking to her about it, but she insists it’s just since I made her mad. I even reached out to her mom, who agrees that it’s strange and there’s probably more to it.
So here I am, feeling lost and confused. Any advice on how to approach this situation? Could it really just be about that dumb joke, or should I be considering other possibilities like PPD or something else entirely? Any similar experiences or insights would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
UPDATE: Happy Ending!
After apologizing again to my wife a while ago and expressing my regret over the joke, she opened up and things took a positive turn. She started crying and admitted that she didn’t mean what she said about losing feelings for me, and she was regretting it since but didn’t know how to approach me about it.
It turns out, she’s been struggling with feelings of insecurity about her role as a mother, and it’s been weighing heavily on her mind. We had a heart-to-heart, and she apologized for “taking it out on me.”
I assured her that I wasn’t upset with her and that I understood she’s just overwhelmed right now, and she didn’t do anything wrong.
I asked her if the comment was hurtful, she said that while it might have been pretty silly, it didn’t hurt her feelings.
We’ve decided to take some time for ourselves tonight and leave the baby with my parents while we go out for dinner. It’s important to support each other during this time.
To those who were quick to judge or criticise and started flaming me, I want to clarify that while the comment may have been ill-timed, it obviously wasn’t the reason for the misunderstanding which is why I was confused. I don’t believe one silly joke is enough to nuke any strong relationship…
It was interesting to read some of the judgemental comments after I got her perspective though.
Thanks to the others for your support and understanding. There were a lot of helpful people here.
I did bring up that I was concerned about her mental state, and she agreed to getting screened.
EDIT #2: something I should have mentioned is that this is not her first pregnancy, I’ve seen her deal with PPD before. This didn’t happen, but I have seen how horrific it can be. I didn’t pull PPD out of my ass to shirk responsibility…