My partner recently did something that *almost* violated my trust. It wasn’t something that did damage, just a decision made without me that impacts both of us. I felt like I wasn’t considered and should have been. It really made me question why they wouldn’t include me in something so important. The biggest part was the secrecy of it; I found out about the whole thing after it had already been done. It wasn’t as big as infidelity, but it was close.
The problem now is that I’m paranoid about every little thing. I’m set off by all of it. They’ll spend time on their phone, especially alone in another room, without telling me what’s up. Or they’ll go out to run errands suddenly and come back in an unexpectedly great mood. All kinds of little things that would otherwise seem innocuous but are triggering my paranoia.
I don’t want to spend the rest of our relationship questioning what they’re up to. I want to trust them and give the benefit of the doubt. I’m just having so much trouble with it lately and I can’t escape the feeling that something is up even if (probably, I hope) nothing is.
What do I do? I can’t talk about it with them because I can’t accuse them of anything without proof, and I can’t just say “I’m having issues lately wondering what you’re doing” because the implication would be that I don’t trust them which would drive a wedge in the relationship, and if something *is* up they wouldn’t admit to it anyway.
How do I move past this? How can I get back to the point where we both trust and love each other and can just be together? I really hope there’s nothing to what I’m thinking but I can’t be certain any more. I’m worried I’ll never be able to be certain again….
3 comments
You’re going to have to tell us what the breach of trust was if you want actual advice.
What was the thing tho?
I’m sorry to say it like this and i dont mean to be harsh but trust your gut. Especially if he did secret things with an ex behind your back. Doesn’t look good at all