I (31F) have been with my partner (35M) for about 9 months. We have spent a lot of time together in these last 9 months. I am so happy about where we are at and the foundation that we’ve built. I feel so loved and have incredible respect for him, I honestly hope this relationship lasts forever.
And yet, I find myself mourning the loss of that new relationship energy. We have started to reach that comfort stage, and I feel like it happened so suddenly. In the beginning we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We spent so much time being so present and getting to know one another.
Now, I feel like our sex life in particular is dwindling. Not even dwindling, we are still having sex a few times a week. But it feels a lot more predictable now, like all the novelty has worn off. He used to feel me up on the couch, and we couldn’t even make it through a movie. Now, it’s the end of an episode and kind of like a “should we have sex” sort of thing. Nothing wrong with it, but I really miss that passion.
It’s little things too. Suddenly he’s on the phone a bit more during our hangouts (we used to never even touch our phones). We talk about our lives, but are having less deep conversations about our feelings and past.
There is nothing wrong in my relationship. Why do I feel kind of sad? I am not sure if this is a situation where I should work to reinvigorate things, or if I need to find inner peace and refocus back on myself more and just let this be. Does anyone else mourn their new relationship feelings dwindling, even when they are happy?
TL;DR: new relationship energy is wearing off, and I find myself mourning it even though nothing is wrong in my relationship. Is this just a phase?