So I saw a post similar to this on this sub and wanted to share my story. I’m extremely extroverted and I live for the thrill of public speaking. People say I have a very animated personality. But when it comes to talking to women I’m interested in … lord mercy!
The problem is I feel like I’m putting them on a pedestal and while I have approached women I was interested in at school, I’ve always been nervous doing it and felt like I had to really push myself even though I’ve made them smile, laugh and have gotten a few numbers. I also feel like I’m looking for the perfect thing to say rather than keeping convos organic which can make interactions awkward. There’s also the fear that in complimenting them, I may make them feel scared (even though I won’t say anything sexual to make them feel that way)
Any tips?
1 comment
As you said, you put beautiful women on a pedestal. Stop that. Women are humans too. How do you connect with people when talking on radio ? Genuinely connect with people in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what they say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.