My (29m) girlfriend (29f) moved to my home country for studying around 10yrs ago. We’ve been in a relationship for 6yrs and living together for 3. We both want kids eventually and both openly want to spend the rest of our lives together.
Most of her friends from studying have moved away and she’s beginning to get a little homesick, and expressed that she thinks she wants us to eventually settle down back in her home country. This was not a definite desire but more of an inclination and we would not move for another 2-5yrs. She’s not out any pressure on me to agree or anything like that.
I’ve lived here my whole life and have everything I need here – family, friends, hobbies, job – so objectively I don’t want to leave. But I love her more than all of those things apart from family (which is equal), and would feel really guilty and selfish if I straight up refused.
I just don’t know what to do or feel. My gut tells me I wouldn’t be happy elsewhere but surely it’s better to try than not try at all. I would love to do some sort of compromise like living 6months in each place but I just don’t see it being possible even though our countries are only an hour away on a flight. She goes home for long weekends etc fairly regularly and sees her family maybe 10 times a year.
I know there’s no “answer” here but I guess I’m looking for any opinions and maybe a perspective from those who’ve been in a similar situation.
Thanks.
Tldr: Partner of 6yrs told me she wants to eventually settle back in her home country. I’ve been in my country my whole life and have no desire to move. Unsure what the best compromise is