Am I wrong for ghosting?
I’m 25 messing with a 21 year old I met two months back. She’s cool, sex is great and I like her enough to have gone 2 months. Sometimes she’ll bring me lunch to work and clean the place up. She’s great. WHEN she’s here.
Literally EVERY weekend she’s going out and getting drunk with her friends. None stop. During the week she’s OK. Then the weekend hits and she’s gone again. I feel completely single on the weekends and I told her this, even asked to break up because this thing can’t be a trend every weekend and I’m not trying to mold her into my ideal if she can’t do it. Said it won’t happen again.
Now I hear lies on Friday and Thursday to make room for a vanishing act on the weekend as per. I act dumb but I’m tired of acting dumb. I don’t bother or stress her. I just stop caring and at this point, it’s not a conscious decision. I simply don’t care any longer.
I think I’m better off alone like I was and I’ll probably find someone else who’s great although it might take some time.
Edit: Thanks for the great responses. I’m very thankful. I’m going through with it. It hurts trying to plan a surprise date with your girl and her not even answering the phone for 2 whole days and coming back with an I love you so much it hurts. I’m 25 yes, I like her yes. I said I’m not trying to mold her into my ideal because it’s relevant when discussing someone who has their own way of living their life. I’m not forcing her to adapt or change to suit me. I told her that. I said, at least let me know if you’re gonna go out so I don’t go making romantic plans and thinking you could pitch up or even that we can communicate. I drink too. I go out too. I don’t get so drunk that I can’t communicate for a whole weekend.
Also with the being glad you have free time on weekends thing I saw posted. It sounds great but I like doing things with someone I’m dating. I misphrased our relationship as messing around. We’re dating.
I work at a very busy job where sometimes I come home quite late doing some distance travel 200kms away at short notice and it’s quite inconvenient to see her during the week. That’s why weekends are quite important for me. But they clash with her lifestyle and tbh, you can call me controlling or jealous, but I know my girl is hot. When she’s at a club or even on the street, people LOOK. I don’t mind it. But I know alcohol very well. I know she can’t handle it either. As per her stories. I don’t have a reason to think she cheats or has. But still, I guess for the principle of it it bears weight.
I have a lot to deal with so it’s fine to leave her be. It won’t always work out. No matter how much I want it to. I have asked this person I don’t know how many times to consider what I’m thinking, feeling and even perceiving.
I moved to this town almost exactly a year ago and met a great girl named Lisa. Beautiful, smart and super responsible. She 3 years younger than me. She would out to parties and drink. But she always let me know and it was so infrequent that it wasn’t even a slight thing to consider. Lisa would go with her friends and come back that same night and get jealous that I took the chance to be with some girl despite never doing that. She did everything that this girl did. Lisa truly loved me and it was on her sleeve. Like this one is when she’s on it. But commitment to the scene is actually such a problem. I literally don’t recall having spent a SINGLE weekend with her ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ NOT ONE. One Friday to Saturday noon. That’s it. I mean come on man.
Edit: it’s over. At least it’s over. It is what it is. I’d say I will miss her. I l only saw her when I went to pick her up or when she asked every now and then. I’m free. No more waiting on someone to get it right. I can look around peacefully. I’m worried it will take me time 😩