I don’t think I’ve ever felt any lower than I do right now. After a history of endometriosis as a teen and three surgeries I decided when I became a mum I’d adopt. I adore this idea as a first choice. My husband and I went to a meeting. He just couldn’t do it. Being a team player I agreed to try the old fashioned way (he’s not that bothered about having kids really) my endo seemed in remission so we gave it a try. Over a 2 year period I had 3 pregnancy losses and 1 chemical pregnancy. It’s been utterly devastating. All our tests came back normal. There’s no reason for it. Perhaps I’m just a bit old now (late 30’s).
Now, the twist, my husband and I are in the middle of a divorce, after I found out he’d given head to a guy and had been sexting men. I knew he was curious and was ok with porn etc but not actually meeting someone. So now I’m late 30’s, childless and starting again.
Following a period of separation and whilst the divorce finalises (it takes 8 months or so in the uk) I subsequently started dating a wonderful guy. He’s so loving and very hot made me feel alive, loved and wanted. Only he has trouble ‘finishing’ with me.
I’m not bad looking, in shape, good job and pretty decent human, I think.
Am I the shittest woman who ever lived??? Can’t have a baby, gay husband, date can’t finish. I hate myself rn.