my boyfriend has many red flags. he’s controlling. when he gets mad, he gets really mad. he gives me the silent treatment. he also has sex with me without a condom when i say that i want him to wear a condom. i’m pretty sure he’s talking to other girls. i went on his facebook messenger and found messages of him talking to a bunch of girls asking if they’re single and being flirty with them. this was months ago though before we met.
we have only known each other for a little bit over a month. yesterday i was doing laundry at my apartment and he was over my place. we had just got into an argument because he was upset that i texted my friend “my bf was eating me out and he said my ass smells like workday”. he took my phone and started going through it while i was fighting with him to give me it back but he kept pushing me away and continued to look through it. eventually i gave up fighting for it and just said fine and left the room and slammed the door. then i eventually went back in the room and snatched my phone out of his hand. then he kept following me around the apartment asking me why i would tell my friend such intimate details. i thought he was going to physically hurt me. i told him that it’s not like they’ll ever meet and that it’s not that serious. i admit i was in the wrong for that.
but i told him to leave my apartment because he took my phone and didn’t give it back when i told him to. he gave me the silent treatment and turned on the tv and started watching it. i kept telling him to leave and he finally said to me “if i leave, just know you’ll never see me again”. i didn’t want that. so i stayed quiet. then i told him to not be mad at me and forgive me. and he kept ignoring me. this lasted for like a half hour. i went to my room and eventually he came in and forgave me and gave me a kiss. he was still upset though.
then i went to go get the laundry out the dryer and he came in the laundry room out of nowhere and started pulling my shorts down and i said stop you’re gonna make us catch a charge. because it’s a public laundry room. and he asked me what i was gonna do about it and then he started having sex with me.
some green flags about my bf are that he takes care of me. he helps with chores, bills, he gives me rides to work, he treats my cats well. i think my boy cat likes him more than me. i have fun when hanging out with him and i never want him to go home. he cooks me food. he asks me questions about my job and my school work. he compliments me. if i miss a day of work and ask him can i have some money, he will give it to me. he’s romantic with me in public. he books me random self care appointments. he planned a helicopter ride and an airbnb for my bday. but he can be kind of wishy washy and he dodges a lot of questions i ask. his ex is super pretty and he has her on facebook. i know he’s not me right. but i’d rather he stay than to be alone. i’ve been single my entire life. i’ve only had flings. and the single life is depressing and boring. but i feel like if i stay in this relationship i’m gonna end up being a single mom with a not shit baby daddy. i just don’t know what to do. shold i stay or shold i go? if i go there may be trouble. if i stay there may be double.
tldr: boyfriend has toxic traits but is very supportive and better than any other guy i met