TLDR: if my first a real partner doesn’t get promoted he might have to move which is stressing me out
I’ve (trans F21) been dating this guy (M26) for a little over 6 months now, for the most part things are going great, at least on my end of things but I haven’t done any severe complaints so I’m assuming thing or at least going well. It’s important to note that this is my first long-term relationship that I wouldn’t call friends with benefits or a fling or something.
He was the first to say “I love you” in January and says so often. I feel the same way so I obviously return it even though on some level I wondered if it was too soon at first, but honestly this is not important to the story
He’s also made comments about feeling like this relationship is very established and feels good despite it not having been around for very long. I agree
Is a great guy super supportive, kind, loving affectionate and willing to deal with my bullshit and the mistakes that come from my combination of nerodivergency and inexperience. >!I mean this straight man learned to suck d!ck for me!!!<
The biggest problem in our relationship so far have all been caused by my fuck ups, in ways that aren’t really debatable but I’m working on getting better and he’s giving me the chance to, I’m terrified that I’m going to screw up too much too fast but I’m doing my best.
It helps that he is extremely supportive and caring and fun to be around. And willing to tell me what he’s feeling I really do just want to do better by him. I mean he walked me through grieving over my childhood dog’s death and my mom’s in medical issues, I want to give the same amount of support and that’s also not really that important to the story I guess I’m kind of venting
But recently it’s become performance review season at his job and he offhandedly mentioned that he needs to replace his car and “on the off chance he doesn’t get the promotion he’s looking for he’ll have to find one that can handle the drive to another state.”
It was… not great feeling.
He didn’t say it like it was a reveal or some sort of talk and it was dropped in casual conversation on our way to a date.
And even though I haven’t said anything yet since I don’t want to worry him I make him feel guilty for some things silly it kind of is stressing me out
I mean, I get it. I don’t feel betrayed or anything.
it’s completely understandable and a reasonable but at the same time it doesn’t feel great because now I find myself hoping and praying that he gets that promotion even more so than I would have just be supportive.
I find myself constantly waiting for the text where he mentions that he didn’t get it and he’ll have to leave.
His life isn’t mine and he needs to do what’s best for him, I want him to be happy and I can move on, I wouldn’t even be opposed to a long distance relationship honestly but…
Still I think I’m overreacting but it hurts and it’s really scary. I love this guy genuinely and the idea of losing him makes me so sad because this relationship really feels like something that could become long-term.