Sure maybe the title feels dramatic, but with my track record, that’s what reality feels like.
I (25F) have never been someone’s gf, someone’s valentine, or even received flowers from a guy. People who know me are usually shocked at the fact, some even assume I’m married or something since I’m apparently such a catch. I’m in a solid career, I try to be the kindest I can be, I’ve got loads of fun hobbies, I’ve been told by plenty of people that I’m an attractive person, but at the end of the day time and time again I’m told by the guys who I talk to that ‘they don’t deserve me’ or that ‘they wouldn’t be able to love me the way I deserve.’
I totally agree that yeah, if someone straight up tells you they don’t deserve you, there’s probably some truth to that, but how can that be every person I’ve ever had an interest in. That’s not to say there haven’t been people who’ve liked me and I haven’t returned their feelings (those situations make me feel awful, but you can’t force yourself to like someone which yes I get is advice I should follow as well), but guys will tell me how wonderful I am, talk about how lucky there are to have met me, and how I’ve made them feel things no one else has, but it’s never become anything more. Some even come back months later if they ghosted me to tell me their feelings scared them and they had to walk away.
At this point I just feel like I’m some pretty little plaything to men, I’m a fun time to be around and I make them feel good about themselves, but no one ever stays. I’m not a high maintenance person, I’m very much so a homebody, love being outside and enjoying what the world has to offer, and ultimately I’d just want someone’s time. I think the biggest thing I ever ask for is just for someone to choose me. I would love to know, since I’m the common denominator, what the hell am I doing wrong, or is it really just that hard to find someone. I want so badly to love someone and be loved, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do. Any advice for the hopeful romantic?