Advice needed.
The title had to be reedited and adjusted so that I could make the post the body is more relevant.
Hey, I’m ‘the girl’ (20f) and I have a bf ‘the boy’ (22m). Before I start please don’t over analyze anything here, you can analyze what I say but reddit has a tendency to over do it and I don’t share my relationship too much even with my friends because I don’t like biased one sided opinions which are valid but also makes the relationship crowded. You are free to analyze though just dont go to overboard for my sake.
So back to the story. He is a med student. He is going to enter his 4th year, the year before internship year basically the demon year, ofc he is very busy and since he is a med student and I’m not I definitely do have my own doubts sometimes, even though I’m mostly secure. We got into a relationship for the first time by the end of his 2nd year of mbbs which lasted about 3 months, ik wild right? But ig we both had some sort of attachment still so we kept in connection on and off for the next whole year, unintentionally ofc, he would keep dropping hints about wanting to date me again, saying horrendously stupid questions like ‘what are the chances of me dating you again?’, but never really asked the million dollar question (the first few times I found it baffling that this guy managed to swoon me, like how? But later it wasted my patience). But as you can already tell we were getting into this cycle where dating other people wasn’t working out like even talking phases weren’t working out we both kept ending up texting each other and going no contact and then again appearing into each other’s lives again and again.
By the end of his 3rd year and exactly 12 months after we broke up and 3 months no contact, the longest ever, he texts me again and this time we do get back together as he finally ends up asking the million dollar question alongside other things through text, he then called and kept asking what went wrong the last time, while I was trying to poop, he didn’t let me poop although I kept saying i wanted to poop 😭😭😭. Anyways this is some back story.
Now we’ve been back together again for 3 months now, and I do feel appreciated sometimes when it’s needed, and most of the times I’m calm, our relationship isn’t explosive with emotions and butterflies but rather calm. But sometimes I do feel kind of divided about my own opinions, idk if it’s cause I sometimes get the realisation that I’m not a medico so i don’t essentially have any idea about how busy these people are, and I do tend to be unsure and doubtful sometimes. It never turned into a fight but more like I get a text the next day and it’s all fine again, type of moment. Like he would always keep in touch with me regularly. This time around in the beginning he tried calling everyday alongside texting, but honestly he’d return from his classes and also clinical rounds with patients and then he’s just so sleepy he’d call and keep falling alseep midway through the conversation and then he’d try to say he’s not really sleepy. And then he didn’t text me one whole day and didn’t even pick up my call, but he texted me directly at night, and said he spent the whole day with his friends, and enjoyed it, which is fine but that kind of broke his texting patterns for the first time and I couldn’t help but feel weird. Like he doesn’t alwyas text in the same pattern but he maintains the same pattern and gradually shifts a different one and then another. Is that normal for a medico in his 3rd-4th year? Also during his exams he kinda changes, gets busy, or that’s what I believe and he says, atleast 3 weeks prior to his exams. But while his exams are going on he’s fairly more active on text, more then normal, like he’s usually busy during his classes so texts are usually rare it’s usually phone calls I have to rely on and also more conversation happens after dinner through texts. But during exams I got texts in the morning, around lunch time and during the evening and before bed. Now I came here because he went home for his vacations for a couple of days, and he’s been texting me regularly (as in daily), in the same pattern and called me the day he was preparing to leave for home to tell me about it. And today he didn’t text me the whole day and it’s midnight, i got his last text yesterday night before we both went to bed. It’s just the broken pattern that bothers me sometimes.
Some additional infos if it helps, he thinks I’m like a little kid although I’m almost the same age as him I’m less then 1 and a half years younger, but its probably cause I’m really short and also have a cheeky (as in I have bigger cheeks) face he says that. He also is very frank and causal even as a person and doesn’t get too deep into discussions unless you force him to. He is very different on call and text, he seems unbothered in his texts sometimes but not on call. Unbothered as in doesn’t take me seriously when I say I’m angry but then again since he keeps calling me a kid (in a loveable way even I can’t complain when he does that) and openly admitted that believes I cant angry, because I’m still a kid (his words not mine). Also my voice sounds bubbly (happy) and I’ve never really been seriously pissed at him, so my voice remains bubbly unless I’m genuinely angry and upset, which I haven’t been at him. I dont really have one specific question like I dont really know what to ask, cause I’m not suspicious of him or anything but I just want to know am i going right? Like what advice would you as a reader would like to give me regarding this scenario, from what you’ve read what do you think I should hear? Also are there any med students who can help me understand a little. Can you people give me additional details on how it should be or is ok if it is and what might happen and can be considered normal. Help your gal out here. Any advice I’ll be happy.