Hello everybody, this is my first post here, sorry if I break any rules.
I always had a good memory to the point that it would put some people off. I tend to remember in vivid detail stuff that happened to a friend of mine or what he/she did say 10 years ago for no apparent reason. I could remember a friend saying he doesn’t like chocolate and were he said it, who was with us and all that jazz to the point that I stopped telling people most of the stuff I remember if the topic comes up because it gives off a creepy vibe.
Most of the times I do tho, people don’t remember doing/saying what I’m saying they did/say, which drives me absolutely insane. Now, of course if the episode we are talking about is a friend saying he doesn’t like chocolate it’s whatever, not a big deal.
The problem arises when I’m having an argoument/discussion with someone (a small fight, a discussiong something that happened, ecc.) and it becomes hard for me to deal with the “I don’t remember”. Maybe you don’t remember, I sure as hell do. But I never know how to respond to it while simultaniously avoiding getting irritated.
To give a practical example of what I mean, sometime ago I was discussing with a friend of mine about another friend and I said “Yeah like that time you told me X did xyz” and their answer was “How do you know? I never told you that” slightly concerned and accusatory about how I came to know about it. I answered: “… You did”. Cue 5 minutes in which I searched on my phone the exact conversation they told me that and their response was somewhat dismissive, something like “silly me I don’t remember a lot of stuff”.
It’s incredibly off putting because again, as long as it’s related to trivial stuff it’s whatever. When I am discussing my relationship with another person and the need to say “yeah but you said that/did that” arises and they dismiss it as not remembering, it’s just maddening. It’s them not acknowledging what they did or say, good or bad. I guess if they don’t remember it never really happened, did it?
Now, they could be lying and they do remember or they really don’t remember, I guess it depends, but it’s maddening notheless.
Any advice how to deal with this?