This is not a sympathy post so do not get this wrong it’s just rant so feel free to ignore if u like.
I’m 19M and gay. I have never had a serious adult relationship yet and it feels like I will almost find nobody ever. Alot of that has to do with self confidence and self worth. To try and make it better, i got into the gym (lost around 45 kgs), am in a much better shape but theres still a long way to go and got into therapy to talk things out. The gay dating scene is very aesthetic oriented to say the least. It really matters how u look, how fat ur ass is or how much u are packing or how tall or short u are or how build u are. All these expectations along with not being “aesthetic” and pretty according to beauty standards really fucks with my head. I even tried the dating apps scene and its again very mometary. No one is lookinh for anything meaningful or sustainable. Dont get me wrong i myself partake in the culture from time to time (i just hate myself after). Seeing all these beautiful men who are my “type” around and not being able to do anything bout it makes everything even worse. I do not even know how to click good pictures of myself ffs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ugly but my brain makes me believe it somtimes. I recognize that there is a lot of personal growth and development on my end that i need to do to overcome all this but somtimes its hard to look at the bigger picture.
Venting over… I’d love some perspective from everyone but especially other gay ppl.